Question:

Bloody horrible tasting,

I’m, surprised……I was told they taste like bald eagle….. and they cost a fortune.. about $5000 if you get caught with one.

….well, about the same price per pound, anyway. Of course the trick is not to get caught with one. hmmm maybe I could start a new franchise business KFK

Too late.  Already been done…..they just changed the name.       Wolfgang well, ya got yer kaka, and then ya got yer caca……and it don’t taste like chicken to me.

Response:

Wolfgang well, ya got yer kaka, and then ya got yer caca……and it don’t taste like chicken to me.

It may be art, though. From the London Telegraph: —— The Tate values excrement more highly than gold By Catherine Milner, Arts Correspondent (Filed: 30/06/2002) Critics of modern art will at least applaud the irony. The Tate Gallery has paid

Question:

Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

BWAH HAH HAH!!! Oh man, I gotta go, I think just wet myself!!! BWAHHHHH HAH HAHHH!!!! Oh Man, Oh GOD, here comes the floor!!!!! Rob — visit our web siite: http://www.randc.bizhosting.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

He is what he is! I will discuss a problem that anyone has with me but I will not put up with screaming idiots! — Jim Ferrill The Ellaville Bed Co. http://www.sowega.net/~jimkim/ rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Wow!  Everyone once in a while these HD/Lowes posts get pretty darn entertaining!  LOL Mike

Response:

David, May I introduce Matthew J. Prusik Jr.    He is whining on the post HD HORROR STORIES!!! about you. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Well, the very least you could have done was to offer the guy 50 bucks to get the eyesore out of the store for you. Then you could pushed bamboo wedges up under your finger nails by way of atonement. Then to show that you were really sincere, maybe have yourself drawn and quarter….. of course you might have found something painful to do to yourself in between. I think it’s shameful, the way you skinny little guys gotta keep on picking Enjoyed it immensely, David 8^). — Jim Warman http://www.telusplanet.net/public/mechanic – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about.

Response:

Now that you and the human-hemroid have each others names…  maybe you can get together and have tea or something. Nex time you stuck in tools and a freaker goes nuts on you…  defend yourseldf with a plunge-router…  will make for a better story…

Response:

Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor.  <snip snip

Better you than me, David.  I would have grabbed the closest tool and told him those were his nuts on the floor!  Oh well, glad you liked your visit from Sigh!  <g — Jim Mc Namara Future Collectibles www.futurecollectibles.com

Response:

Bet you like the paint department better now……got any deals???? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Nov. 5, 2000 The Home Depot 100 Borg Lane Anyplace, USA  12345 Dear Sirs: I would like to complain about the service I got while trying to purchase some paint at one of your stores today. I was patiently waiting in line to buy some paint.  Finally it was my turn, but just as I was ready to tell the gentleman what I needed, he was called away to work in the tool department.  A gentleman from the electrical department came to assist me.  He explained that when somebody goes to lunch, everybody just rotates into the next department to the left.  I didn’t think this made much sense but Home Depot seems to be a large company so they must know what they’re doing. At any rate, I asked him for 2 gallons of a pale pink for my daughters room. He then explained that he is from the electrical department and only deals in white, black and green.  I told him that I really wasn’t interested in any of those colors but wanted chip number 115 off of card P-2430.  He once again told me he would really like to help but as he was bound by law to only deal in white, black and green.  He excused himself to help a nice young lady who wanted some sky blue paint.  He explained that while he couldn’t sell her the blue, she had her choice of green,  which he said was very "earthy"; black, which he was neutral about; or white, which is the hot color this season. I grew disgusted with the whole situation when suddenly a huge ruckus erupted in the tool department.  I decided that enough was enough and started to leave the store.  I kept hearing a store employee tell some guy what an a-hole he was.  I looked at the two of them.  The employee was a slim guy with glasses in his mid thirties.  He had that swarthy look about him like he was from the Middle-East or Canada or one of those exotic locales you only read about.  The other guy was about 6′ 4 and the same slim build but he had a gut on him that would put any dedicated beer drinker to shame.  With the gut, he must have gone 300 lbs or better. Suddenly Mr. Gut turns around and storms out of the building.  I guess he didn’t see me because as he turned around to shout something back to the clerk, his gut hit me and knocked me into a display of Black and Decker power screwdrivers.  I hit the ground and all the screwdrivers fell on me. By the time I looked up, he was gone.  Just as I was getting to my feet, two of your other employees named Dino and Rocko knocked me back to the floor while giving chase to Mr. Gut.  Once again I was getting to my feet when Dino and Rocko came back in.  They were muttering about not catching the guy because he jumped into a stretch limo Ford F-350 (short bed).  They were impressed that the guy has so much money as to be able to afford one of those. I got out to my car, realized I left my keys and the paint counter and then had to go back in to get them.  The slim guy was back at the paint counter muttering something about the mean winter temperature in Alaska and generally shooting daggers at anybody who looked at him. Just then a voice came over the loud speaker that it was time for another lunch switch.  As I left, I heard the guy from Plumbing go to the Millwork department and try to explain to some poor guy that he didn’t know what a scarf joint was but if he wanted to join two pieces of baseboard, all he had to do was put male and female threads on the two ends and everything would be right as rain. In the future, I will be shopping at Builders Square or HomeQuarters.  There always seems to be a parking spot available… — Dolmen Productions http://members.home.net/dolmen.prod – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

LOL, Darn it you made me loose my soda all over my keyboard.  I guess you owe me a rebate on something or other Dear All,

Humor snipped – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and

Response:

Great Add-on. — Sincerely, Sy Kaplan Black Sheep Woodworks North Chittenden, Vermont http://www.blacksheepwoodworks.com

Response:

David, Do you have good health insurance up there in Canada?  :-)  Thanks for the belly laughs. — Sincerely, Sy Kaplan Black Sheep Woodworks North Chittenden, Vermont http://www.blacksheepwoodworks.com

Response:

Dear Steve, I was going to ask if that was you that Mr. Gut knocked down, I thought for sure I recognised the scarred hand from ABPF, but it was time to move to the left again, so I didn’t get a chance to chat. Mr. Gut is lucky this took place in New Jersey and not Texas. The HD employees down there are all issued Glock 9mm’s and part of the in-house training program involves close range marksmanship. Next time you are in a Texas HD, look for a bulge in the front of those fashionable back supports we are all issued. From re-reading the employee manuals addendum for Texican employees on rules of engagement and reasonable use of force, I would have been justified in winging him in the kneecap. Might have got me employee of the Month… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Hahahahhhahahahhh ROTFLMAO!!

Response:

you guys are killin me  lol

Response:

David,   Thanks for this.  I am LMAO at 7:30 am on a Monday morning, in an otherwise quiet office.  I know people think I’m strange now.  I read, and posted to the other thread/rant.  I’m glad I took the time to read this one too. P. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

–         PHoeve …Those that can, do. …The rest just talk about it. Before you buy.

Response:

David, David, David,  those "bulges in the front sides of the men’s back notice a lot of out of stater’s looking at the men’s back supports.  What’s up with that ?  LOL – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Steve, I was going to ask if that was you that Mr. Gut knocked down, I thought for sure I recognised the scarred hand from ABPF, but it was time to move to the left again, so I didn’t get a chance to chat. Mr. Gut is lucky this took place in New Jersey and not Texas. The HD employees down there are all issued Glock 9mm’s and part of the in-house training program involves close range marksmanship. Next time you are in a Texas HD, look for a bulge in the front of those fashionable back supports we are all issued. From re-reading the employee manuals addendum for Texican employees on rules of engagement and reasonable use of force, I would have been justified in winging him in the kneecap. Might have got me employee of the Month… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

This is the most fun to hit this group in a long time. Now the kicker will be it was all a troll and he will have a big Gotcha! Well I’m hoping…… John

Response:

Ahhh, you don’t understand at all the new world of political correctness… -Doug – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have always maintained that you should never get in trouble for speaking the truth.  Just my opinion!

Response:

I have always maintained that you should never get in trouble for speaking the truth.  Just my opinion!

Response:

Dear Home Depot Customers:   I would like to take this opportunity to tell you what happens to those employees who are flushed out of the HD system.   We become deckhands in Alaska.  Some of us are more fortunate than others, in that we get jobs on commercials boats and therefore are not compelled to deal with clients.   Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.   Well, luckily for me we’d just taken off from port.  So at the time he was attempting to clamber up the fly ladder after me, he was a victim of too much booze and five foot waves.  I happily sat out the rest of my voyage to see with my walkman and the Eurythmics.   Now, at the time, Alaska fishing laws limited charter boats to two fish per person. The big guy (he kept bragging about some sort of Ford truck limo thing he owned–said he’s bought a wax replica of John Rocker to put on permanent display in it), drank all day and basically threw up the entire time.  He didn’t fish.  Or cut bait. Basically, he slept.  I cut bait.   We’d had a bad day on the water, and were heading back into port in Homer, AK. Mr. Big Guy gets up and suddenly wants to fish.  I, being 19 at the time, was in no position to stop him.  I wasn’t yet ornery enough to challenge men much larger and meaner than me to physical fights.  So, I baited up his hook for him and he took to fishing.   It’s really amazing how quickly one can be lost to the wonders of the sea, especially what with those big boat propellers whirring and spinning about.  Me being a simple girl, how would I know?   I just thought we’d gotten caught up in a nest of sea otters.  I don’t care how cute they look clapping their little hands, they’re pesky creatures to be sure…  It was a tragic accident, to be sure.  However, the rest of our passengers were very pleasantly surprised when they discovered all those "fancy filets" waiting for them at the fishing dock.   So, I hope this will encourage all HD customers to treat your future charter boat deckhands with some respect, as we are quite good with the gaff hook and the filet knife, and are willing to accommodate you in any way we see fit. We look forward to your next visit to Alaska!   Sincerely, Meredith PS:  Of course this is a satire, but I really was a deck hand in Alaska.  Talk about a cool place… "Suppose you were an idiot.  Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."  Mark Twain

Response:

Don’t think of working EMS.  First they cuss you for arriving late, then they puke on you before they pass out and force you to dead lift their 300-lb carcasses out of the vehicle or up/down the narrow stairs.  That’s where the EMS corollary to Murphy’s come into play – "the bigger the patient the smaller your partner." Do I have to tell you how big my partner was they day I responded to a 460lb man ejected through (how, I’ll never know) the windscreen of a Toyota mini-pickup?

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.

Response:

That’s nothing. I got a paper cut on my finger at work one day last year. Null.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Don’t think of working EMS.  First they cuss you for arriving late, then they puke on you before they pass out and force you to dead lift their 300-lb carcasses out of the vehicle or up/down the narrow stairs.  That’s where the EMS corollary to Murphy’s come into play – "the bigger the patient the smaller your partner." Do I have to tell you how big my partner was they day I responded to a 460lb man ejected through (how, I’ll never know) the windscreen of a Toyota mini-pickup? Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.

Response:

That’s nothing. I got a paper cut on my finger at work one day last year. Null.

ROTFLMAO!

Response:

Question:

I’m leaning toward the Spring Creek because it’s a DT line, so you get two lines for price of one. Anyone here used a Spring Creek?

I have a Spring Creek in DT5. My only complaint is it has a lot of memory and so coils up worse than most. It’s relatively old though, ‘93 I think, so perhaps Orvis has improved that since then. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

Since I am in Kansas <g, the season is closed in WI, and just because I like you, email your snail address to me and I’ll ship you my 2 wt to try out, then you can ship it back to me.

Excellent ! Did you make it to Crane Creek last weekend ? You know, trip reports are mandatory in January. Thanks, Wayne. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

… SA still makes the Ultra 3 in a buckskin (like the one I sent you.)  Keep them in mind.

I assume it’s a 2wt, is it a WF or a DT ? I’ve never had it off the spool, I’ll have to give it a try. You are right about the long front taper not being appropriate for close in work. You know some of the places where I want to fish with the 2 & 3 wt and there’s rarely a time when you have more than 20′-25′ of line out. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

Anyone have experience with or observations about Sage Quiet Taper Fly Lines ?

My favorite rod/line combo is the Sage 484-3 SPL with the 4 wt. Quiet Taper line. With this combo I can cast all of the line easily, and indeed roll cast most of the line! I find it fishes in close well also. The other added advantage to this thinner line is a very quiet presentation, very important for places like Washington’s Rocky Ford creek or Wyoming’s Flat Creek where delicacy is a must. I think the main key is matching it with the rod you are fishing. The SPL series are medium action rods and these are the rods Sage designed the lines to match. Cheers, Ian McAllister Rodworks Seattle, WA Before you buy.

Response:

I assume it’s a 2wt, is it a WF or a DT ? I’ve never had it off the spool, I’ll have to give it a try. You are right about the long front taper not being appropriate for close in work. You know some of the places where I want to fish with the 2 & 3 wt and there’s rarely a time when you have more than 20′-25′ of line out. — Ken Fortenberry

Ken It’s a DT-2-F Mastery Ultra 3 with something like a 7′ front taper. That’s the line I used routinely on that rod and it short casted just fine. Peter Peter email is spam blocked – remove first ’s’

Response:

That’s the line I used routinely on that rod and it short casted just fine.

And a short cast for you is what, 100′<g. — Charlie…

Response:

Anyone have experience with or observations about Sage Quiet Taper Fly Lines ? I currently have Cortland Clear Creeks on my 2 & 3 wts and I’m not real happy with them. It’s catalog season in the great white north and in perusing the catalogs these sound nice for close, delicate casting and they couldn’t possibly roll cast any worse than a Clear Creek. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

Anyone have experience with or observations about Sage Quiet Taper Fly Lines ? I currently have Cortland Clear Creeks on my 2 & 3 wts and I’m not real happy with them. It’s catalog season in the great white north and in perusing the catalogs these sound nice for close, delicate casting and they couldn’t possibly roll cast any worse than a Clear Creek. — Ken Fortenberry

Ken I don’t know about the Quiet Tapers but the Clear Creeks aren’t a close in type of line.  Did some checking a while back and the front taper is quite long.  SA still makes the Ultra 3 in a buckskin (like the one I sent you.)  Keep them in mind. Peter

Response:

I like the Clear Creeks for the long thin front taper but also have some performance issues and wear issues with them.  In looking around, the two other lines I came up with that have a similar long, thin front taper are the Sage Quiet Taper and the Orvis Spring Creek. I’m leaning toward the Spring Creek because it’s a DT line, so you get two lines for price of one. Anyone here used a Spring Creek? PS I don’t think any conventional line with this type of front taper is going to be very good at roll casts. Their strength will be a delicate presentation with a sacrifice in casting performance. A silk line was recommended to me as probably the ideal for delicate presentation while still having good casting performance.  Since they float in a different manner than conventional lines, a silk line in an equal weight is much thinner than a conventional line. I’m hard on my equipment and know I would never do the maintance necessary with a silk line. Willi – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Anyone have experience with or observations about Sage Quiet Taper Fly Lines ? I currently have Cortland Clear Creeks on my 2 & 3 wts and I’m not real happy with them. It’s catalog season in the great white north and in perusing the catalogs these sound nice for close, delicate casting and they couldn’t possibly roll cast any worse than a Clear Creek. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

writes: Anyone have experience with or observations about Sage Quiet Taper Fly Lines ?

It works as advertised with the Sage SPL rods. I get good distance and good presentation with mine. Since I am in Kansas <g, the season is closed in WI, and just because I like you, email your snail address to me and I’ll ship you my 2 wt to try out, then you can ship it back to me. Wayne Wayne Knight (remove nospam to respond via mail) Expert in the creation of  wind knots and tailing loops.

Response:

The quiet taper lines are recommended for the SPL series as they were designed around the taper of that rod.  Also, the lines only come in weight forward,  Try a DT line. Regards, Mike – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Anyone have experience with or observations about Sage Quiet Taper Fly Lines ? I currently have Cortland Clear Creeks on my 2 & 3 wts and I’m not real happy with them. It’s catalog season in the great white north and in perusing the catalogs these sound nice for close, delicate casting and they couldn’t possibly roll cast any worse than a Clear Creek. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

oooooowowee, Ken, I guess Dave Whitlock had a lot to do with designing the Sage Quite Taper lines for the new ultra light/soft Sage SPL series. I heard that they designed the line first and then worked on the rods. I guess it has a special core and is tapered to preform best at 10 to 30 feet? I think the Sage ‘Quiet Taper’ and the Mastery ‘XPS’ DT  are the top choices around our shop for short casting for trout? — Bill Kiene Kiene’s Fly Shop Sacramento, CA, USA http://www.kiene.com

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I had mentioned that I wasn’t real happy with the Cortland Clear Creek Taper for fishing in close, less than 30-35 ft., and was wondering if the Sage Quiet Taper might be a better choice for fishing in close with light rods. ROFF’s ultimate gear whore just happened to have a Sage Quiet Taper WF2 already rigged up on an Orvis CFO 1, beautiful little reel BTW, and he sent it along via snail mail for me to try. Thanks, Wayne. I put it on the Peter Charles 1 wt and walked across the street to the retention pond with Kipper the hound to test it out. Cutting right to the chase, I couldn’t tell much difference between the Clear Creek Taper and the Quiet Taper in WF2. Both seem to have long, fine front tapers that would be nice and delicate at 35-40 ft but don’t load a 1 wt very well at less than 30 ft. Forget roll casting. The small mountain streams of western North Carolina require short casts and roll casts more often than long, delicate spring creek type casts. I’ll take Peter’s advice and rig up the SA Ultra 3 for a test cast on the ice. Speaking of the ice, it is really quite refreshing to do something incredibly stupid and have a good long belly laugh at yourself. After testing the two lines for in close casting I decided to see how far I could cast. My back cast hit the chain link fence of the tennis court at about 45 ft or so. Now a person with an IQ bigger than his shoe size would have just moved to the other side of the pond away from the tennis court. Not your dumb ass correspondent, no I decided the thing to do was to step out onto the ice a few feet. You ever seen a hound dog laugh ? Kipper the hound looked at me like he’d be forever embarrassed to be associated with such a stupid dog, and he was right. But what the hell, if you survive it, doing something stupid now and then can be sort of amusing. That was the end of the casting comparison, I was wet, the hound was dry and we hurried back across the street so that the dumber of the two could dry off. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Let’s see… the 3dt mastery is on a Winston Perfect, the 3dt courtland 444 is on a Princess the 3/4 tt is on the TR1 the 3wf mastery is on a golden JLH,   the 3wf spring creek is on a LP1.5,,, the 3dt silk is on a St. George Nope sorry no more CFO I’s in the bin <g, in a fit of lust for some new cane I sold my CFO 123 to Peter, cheaply I might add. Wayne Knight (remove nospam to respond via mail) Expert in the creation of  wind knots and tailing loops.

I thought I was a gear whore. Now it appears I am just a gear whore in training. Big Dale – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

Response:

I’ll take Peter’s advice and rig up the SA Ultra 3 for a test cast on the ice.

You got one laying around or do you want me to mail you one of those too? <g But what the hell, if you survive it, doing something stupid now and then can be sort of amusing.

Great little story, thanks. — Wayne Knight Expert in creating tailing loops and windknots Otherwise Fishless in Kansas Before you buy.

Response:

(gear report and self-inflicted casualty report snipped) LOL, Forty.  I’m sure the hound had a good laugh. Mark Faulkner – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

Response:

I’ll take Peter’s advice and rig up the SA Ultra 3 for a test cast on the ice. You got one laying around or do you want me to mail you one of those too? <g

Peter sent one, but I don’t have it rigged up. You could send another one of those beautiful little Orvis CFO’s if you want. Great little story, thanks.

Thanks, … I think. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

writes: Peter sent one, but I don’t have it rigged up. You could send another one of those beautiful little Orvis CFO’s if you want.

Let’s see… the 3dt mastery is on a Winston Perfect, the 3dt courtland 444 is on a Princess the 3/4 tt is on the TR1 the 3wf mastery is on a golden JLH,   the 3wf spring creek is on a LP1.5,,, the 3dt silk is on a St. George Nope sorry no more CFO I’s in the bin <g, in a fit of lust for some new cane I sold my CFO 123 to Peter, cheaply I might add. Wayne Knight (remove nospam to respond via mail) Expert in the creation of  wind knots and tailing loops.

Response:

I had mentioned that I wasn’t real happy with the Cortland Clear Creek Taper for fishing in close, less than 30-35 ft., and was wondering if the Sage Quiet Taper might be a better choice for fishing in close with light rods. ROFF’s ultimate gear whore just happened to have a Sage Quiet Taper WF2 already rigged up on an Orvis CFO 1, beautiful little reel BTW, and he sent it along via snail mail for me to try. Thanks, Wayne. I put it on the Peter Charles 1 wt and walked across the street to the retention pond with Kipper the hound to test it out. Cutting right to the chase, I couldn’t tell much difference between the Clear Creek Taper and the Quiet Taper in WF2. Both seem to have long, fine front tapers that would be nice and delicate at 35-40 ft but don’t load a 1 wt very well at less than 30 ft. Forget roll casting. The small mountain streams of western North Carolina require short casts and roll casts more often than long, delicate spring creek type casts. I’ll take Peter’s advice and rig up the SA Ultra 3 for a test cast on the ice. Speaking of the ice, it is really quite refreshing to do something incredibly stupid and have a good long belly laugh at yourself. After testing the two lines for in close casting I decided to see how far I could cast. My back cast hit the chain link fence of the tennis court at about 45 ft or so. Now a person with an IQ bigger than his shoe size would have just moved to the other side of the pond away from the tennis court. Not your dumb ass correspondent, no I decided the thing to do was to step out onto the ice a few feet. You ever seen a hound dog laugh ? Kipper the hound looked at me like he’d be forever embarrassed to be associated with such a stupid dog, and he was right. But what the hell, if you survive it, doing something stupid now and then can be sort of amusing. That was the end of the casting comparison, I was wet, the hound was dry and we hurried back across the street so that the dumber of the two could dry off. — Ken Fortenberry

Response:

Question:

Can anyone help me.  I love biking and flyfishing in lakes in the South. It just seems natural that i should have a small one man fishing boat with pedals like a bicycle.  Ideally it would have gears much like a 3-speed, or 10-speed bike. Could a bicycle frame be adapted to  power a small boat?  If anyone knows of such a beast or kits/plans, etc. please let me know.  Thank you.

Response:

We have plans for pedal boats.  These date back to the 40’s and 50’s. I do not recall whether any of them have gearing like a 3 or 10 speed bike.  We charge $15 for copying and mailing.  Contact us if you are still interested. Good Luck and Fair Seas Marshall and Jo Duhaime,Jr. Classic Boatworks of Maine – We build and restore classic wood boats. http://www.nemaine.com/classicboatworks

Can anyone help me.  I love biking and flyfishing in lakes in the South. It just seems natural that i should have a small one man fishing boat with pedals like a bicycle.  Ideally it would have gears much like a 3-speed, or 10-speed bike. Could a bicycle frame be adapted to  power a small boat?  If anyone knows of such a beast or kits/plans, etc. please let me know.  Thank you.

Response:

We have plans for pedal boats.  These date back to the 40’s and 50’s. I do not recall whether any of them have gearing like a 3 or 10 speed bike.  We charge $15 for copying and mailing.  Contact us if you are still interested. Good Luck and Fair Seas Marshall and Jo Duhaime,Jr. Classic Boatworks of Maine – We build and restore classic wood boats. http://www.nemaine.com/classicboatworks

Can anyone help me.  I love biking and flyfishing in lakes in the South. It just seems natural that i should have a small one man fishing boat with pedals like a bicycle.  Ideally it would have gears much like a 3-speed, or 10-speed bike. Could a bicycle frame be adapted to  power a small boat?  If anyone knows of such a beast or kits/plans, etc. please let me know.  Thank you.

Response:

Question:

I am looking for a source of soft hackle for size #18,16,14 flies.  The ruffed grouse and hangarian standard breast hackle I have are two long. It would be nice to have a naturally barred brown/tan feather but I would settle for a hen neck, preferably barred, and preferrably dyed.   Does anyone have a suggestion? JK

Response:

Try www.blueribbonflies.com/   They usually have a great many quail and partridge soft hackle skins. Ralph Wood C & R Guide Service www.wildtrout.com/

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I am looking for a source of soft hackle for size #18,16,14 flies.  The ruffed grouse and hangarian standard breast hackle I have are two long. It would be nice to have a naturally barred brown/tan feather but I would settle for a hen neck, preferably barred, and preferrably dyed. Does anyone have a suggestion? JK

Response:

John Kaufmann schrieb in Nachricht I am looking for a source of soft hackle for size #18,16,14 flies.  The ruffed grouse and hangarian standard breast hackle I have are two long. It would be nice to have a naturally barred brown/tan feather but I would settle for a hen neck, preferably barred, and preferrably dyed. Does anyone have a suggestion? JK

Hi John, There is a strain of dwarf partridges commonly kept by people who have aviaries. Their hackles are perfect for small soft hackles. They are not quite as robust as the normal partridge hackles, but they make great wet flies. There is also a strain of quail with similar feathers. Ask around at your local poultry or bird fanciers association, once they realise you are serious about it, it will literally rain dead birds !  Dont say I didnt warn you ! <G Just about the only other alternative is to look for freak coloured hen necks and dye them yourself. The game bird feathers are better though. Tight lines ! Mike Connor

Response:

Look here: http://expage.com/page/tyesupplies

Response:

0] : I am looking for a source of soft hackle for size #18,16,14 flies.  The : ruffed grouse and hangarian standard breast hackle I have are two long. : It would be nice to have a naturally barred brown/tan feather but I would : settle for a hen neck, preferably barred, and preferrably dyed.   : Does anyone have a suggestion? : JK There is a technique shown in Dave Hughes’ book "Wet Flies" for using larger hackle when there is no alternative. You tie in and wrap the hackle at a position down the shank that is the amount the fibers are too long. Then you fold the fibers forward toward the eye and close wrap them with thread up to the position you would normaly tie the hackle. Then you fold the fibers back and wrap in front of them to stand them up and tie off. It’s less than ideal, the fibers are a little stiffish in relation to the size of the fly, but it will get you fishing with something in that size. Another suggestion is to get a whole partridge skin including the neck whose feathers are around the sizes you want. The ones I’ve seen lately run around $25. Poking around fly shops in my area, I have found these small "speckled hen" backs in quite a variety of natural grays and brown. I think they come from India, but I’m not sure. There are some fairly small feathers on these that are ok for #18. Mike — Michael McGuire                     Hewlett Packard Laboratories  (remove x’s from email if not      Palo Alto, CA 94303-0971   a spammer) Phone: (650)-857-5491              

Response:

John, How bout stripping the (too long) hackle fibers off the quill and, holding them in your right hand, work them over the eye of the hook to where you want them, to the length you want, and wrapping them in with the thread in your left hand.  You don’t usually want a real heavy hackle on soft hackle flies anyhow, right? Takes a little practice, but it works.  I think it’s called ‘paint brush style’. See ya Will – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am looking for a source of soft hackle for size #18,16,14 flies.  The ruffed grouse and hangarian standard breast hackle I have are two long. It would be nice to have a naturally barred brown/tan feather but I would settle for a hen neck, preferably barred, and preferrably dyed. Does anyone have a suggestion? JK

Response:

Question:

I will be in Stowe the last week in August, and was hoping someone could direct me to some areas to fish. I was hoping to hit some Trico’s, if they were around. I’ve been known to drag a few nymphs also. It will be my first – and possibly last – time fishing the area, so any help would be appreciated. Thanks. Jerry Virzi

Response:

I will be in Stowe the last week in August, and was hoping someone could direct me to some areas to fish. I was hoping to hit some Trico’s, if they were around. I’ve been known to drag a few nymphs also. It will be my first – and possibly last – time fishing the area, so any help would be appreciated. Thanks. Jerry Virzi

Jerry, Your trip sounds so fatalistic.  Areas you  ought to fish include the Lamoille in Hyde Park and from Morrisville to Wolcott.  You might also want to consider the Winooski in Waterbury and Bolton.  Trico’s may still be around depending on the weather but you are likely to hit the white mayfly (ephorons) and Blue Quill hatch.  White Wulffs and Millers work well when the white mayfly hatch is on as well as white soft hackles. Don’t forget a good supply of caddis and beadheads.  Good luck…let me know if you have any questions. James Ehlers Underhill, Vermont Uncle Jammer’s Guide Service Vermont Fly Fishing, Hunting, River and Woodland Outings http://pobox.com/~uncle

Response:

Question:

I have a General Sikorski clematis and from what I’ve found I think it should be pruned to the first bud from the end of the plant in Feb or March but wanted to see if anyone can verify that for me.  Thanks. Ed

  General Sikorski is a type II clematis that blooms mainly on old growth.  As such it never needs serious pruning, but in early spring, just as it starts to leaf out, it would profit from having the dead ends clipped off back to the first (top) good leaf bud.  You might want to spread and tie up the ends at about this time as well.  After the first heavy bloom, the Carroll Garden’s catalog recommends a light pruning to increase secondary flower production later in the season on new growth.  I presume this means clipping off some of the growing ends just after a leaf to divert resources to flowers, but I never get around to doing it on my type II. — Lloyd Fortney http://www.phy.duke.edu/~fortney/ has links to my garden, flower, flyfishing, and travel JPEG images as well as teaching, research, and stuff like that

Response:

I have a General Sikorski clematis and from what I’ve found I think it should be pruned to the first bud from the end of the plant in Feb or March but wanted to see if anyone can verify that for me.  Thanks. Ed The Melo Family Ed, Carolyn, Alyson and Lauren Pickering Valley Service Unit (Girl Scouts) http://www.voicenet.com/~edmelo/pvsu.html

Response:

Question:

Where could I find pictures about waders, wading in water, rubbersuits, divers gasmasks, divers in gasmasks,…

Just when I thought the group was getting a little dull…

Response:

Where could I find pictures about waders, wading in water, rubbersuits, divers gasmasks, divers in gasmasks,…

Response:

Where could I find pictures about waders, wading in water, rubbersuits, divers gasmasks, divers in gasmasks,… Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.fishing.fly,alt.sex.watersports,alt.sex.fetish.wet-and-messy

,alt.sex.fetish.watersports,alt.sex.anal,alt.magazines.pornographic,alt.bin aries.pictures.erotica.fetish.leather,alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish. latex,alt.binaries.pictur es.erotica.fetish.hair,alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.feet,alt.bina

ries.pictures.erotica.fetish.diapers,alt.binaries.erotica.fetish.wet-and-me ssy Xref: newsbf05.news.aol.com rec.outdoors.fishing.fly:59045 alt.sex.watersports:18881 alt.sex.fetish.wet-and-messy:21012 alt.sex.fetish.watersports:32381 alt.sex.anal:71431 alt.magazines.pornographic:16175 alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.leather:14035 alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.latex:20645 alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.hair:22140 alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.feet:45135 alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.diapers:5545 alt.binaries.erotica.fetish.wet-and-messy:3599

Wow! The only thing missing is: alt.rec.fishing.tying.myself.in.a.knot.while.trying.to.cast

Response:

Question:

I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW

Response:

I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW

Tim  Nah, there’ rd be no "point"  ;-)     Harry

Response:

I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW

Gee Tim, Ya never know ’till ya try, right?  Just think, if you were into barbless catch & release fishing, you could do a whole lot _more_ fishing and whole lot _less_ getting flamed around here!  :-)  Nah, as far as I’m concerned, leave your posts barbed.  Doesn’t bother me; ‘like water off a duck’s back.  Whether your hooks are barbed is your business.   Tight lines, Tim. -Mark

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW Tim Nah, there’ rd be no "point"  ;-)    Harry

His posts are often pointless but seldom barbless!

Response:

Tim, For heavens sake don’t do that.  If it weren’t for you and Rick there would be little humor in this group. Rather than filing them down, make them sharper. Dave

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW Tim Nah, there’ rd be no "point"  ;-)    Harry His posts are often pointless but seldom barbless!

I bet to differ.  Just because you don’t agree with the point that he is making doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. — John Fereira Isis Distributed Systems – Ithaca, NY

Response:

: Rather than filing them down, make them sharper. I think you meant to say "make them more sharper". — Rick T. Rick Fletcher   –   http://www.chem.uidaho.edu/~fletcher/ Associate professor of chemistry  |  That’s Idaho, not Iowa.    | ad hominem University of Idaho               |  Upper Left Hand Corner.    | ad hominem Moscow, ID 83844-2343             |  No, I don’t grow potatoes. | ad hominem

Response:

: Rather than filing them down, make them sharper. I think you meant to say "make them more sharper".

Shouldn’t that be "make them more sharp". — regards Simon

Response:

: Rather than filing them down, make them sharper. I think you meant to say "make them more sharper". Shouldn’t that be "make them more sharp".

’sharpen them further’?  :^) Rik ‘Now there are 29 skaters on Wollman rink  circling in singles and in pairs               -Joni Mitchell  in this vigorous anonymity  a blank face at the window stares and stares and stares….’

Response:

For us saltwater flyrodders on the flats, filing down (actually I use a pair of of pliers to "Flatten" the barb) the barb is common because when you set the hook you have to use less effort to set a debarbed hook than a barbed hook. Why? Because you have to create a hole the size of the point and bard (on barbed hooks) whereas with debarbed hooks you make a hole only big enough for the hook point to pass through.

Response:

: Rather than filing them down, make them sharper. I think you meant to say "make them more sharper". Shouldn’t that be "make them more sharp". ’sharpen them further’?  :^)

This thread is getting duller. Jon

Response:

I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW

Tim don’t file em. Just crush em with a pair of pliers. And if you don’t want to I’m sure there will always be someone willing to crush your barbs for you !

Response:

I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW Tim don’t file em. Just crush em with a pair of pliers. And if you don’t want to I’m sure there will always be someone willing to crush your barbs for you !

But when you crush the barb there is the possiblity that the point will be weakened! Darry Hayashida

Response:

Tim, You outdid yourself. Really got me hooked. If you get the point, file it for future useage. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.fishing.fly I’m wondering, would my posts be more effective or less if I filed down the barbs ? TimW

Response:

Question:

So now you know you must either dress the hook with thread, or you must not.  Hmmmmm.  Well, I guess that eventually becomes a matter of personal preference.  I prefer to have a thread base whether I’m spinning the hair (as with a Muddler head) or not (as with a Try-It or Caddis).  It has been my experience that I get a bit more control. If the problem you are having is with the spinning of the hair to distribute around the hook shank, then practice is the best answer.  Use a small clump of hair, warp the thread arond the hair and hook, all the way.  Then continue over the top and down the far side.  On your way down, tighten down on the thread, and release the hair from your (usually left) hand.  This USUALLY will draw the hair around the hook. An important part of making a Muddler head is to pack the hair backwards – away from the eye of the hook, and build it up a little bunch at a time.  It is generally sufficient to push it with your thunmbnail and index finger.  Then you can trim it as you see fit after the head is all roughed in and the thread is tied off. G’Luck Bob Lundy IWFFC Mississauga

Response:

I’m a beginning tyer who has been having trouble with making muddlers.   I’m hung up on the deer hair – have been having a hard time getting the hair to make that funky head.  ANy suggestions? THanks, JOnathan Vlaming Duluth, Minnesota (woke up to -43 today, WITHOUT the windchill!!)

I think we’ve all been there. It really helps to watch someone who’s good at it. If you don’t know anyone, try getting a video. I have heard people suggest the Jimmy Nix bass bug video  but I have not watched it. The Jack Dennis video, "Tying Western Trout Flys" has some good Information on different types of hair and what they are good for. Make sure you clean out all of the fuzz and any short hairs with a comb or your scissor points. I use larger bunches of hair than most people suggest. I also leave the hook shank bare under the head area. Good luck, Jay Whitworth

Response:

With all the good advice given, someone forgot to mention combing out the fuzz from the hair before you spin it.  You don’t have to get it all, just use a comb or scissor points or even your fingers to get most of it out.   This helps the spinning process considerably. Rob Gregoire Dallas, Tx

Response:

I’m a beginning tyer who has been having trouble with making muddlers.   I’m hung up on the deer hair – have been having a hard time getting the hair to make that funky head.  ANy suggestions? THanks, JOnathan Vlaming Duluth, Minnesota (woke up to -43 today, WITHOUT the windchill!!)

Hi Jonathan-    A cool trick is to wet the deer hair the let it get *almost* dry. It will spin and flair with ease. OK, well almost. Trick #2 is to trim with a razor blade rather than scissors. Trick #3 is to hit the head with a butane lighter or propane torch (lightly). It will burn all the stray hair even with the base head. Trick #4, have your wife tie it.    Tight heads, Ralph —

Response:

With all the good advice given, someone forgot to mention combing out the fuzz from the hair before you spin it.  You don’t have to get it all, just use a comb or scissor points or even your fingers to get most of it out.   This helps the spinning process considerably. Rob Gregoire Dallas, Tx

Take a run down to your local drug store, go to the cosmetics section and pick up an eyebrow comb… I got the one with metal teeth… real tight and does a great job on removing the fuzz from deer hair.

Response:

The hair you select is important.  Choose hair that is not brittle, such as coastal hair.  Spin it with a soft loop, then a tighter loop and finally a tight loop.  The last loop should spin the hair.  Pack it tight and start again until you get the head you are looking for.  Spinning hair is not easy to learn. I suggest you rent a good video or take a leson. Good luck!

Response:

Take a run down to your local drug store, go to the cosmetics section and pick up an eyebrow comb… I got the one with metal teeth… real tight and does a great job on removing the fuzz from deer hair.

Might also show up under the moniker of "mustache comb".  I use one (for fly tying) and am able to report it works quite well! Charley

Response:

With all the good advice given, someone forgot to mention combing out the fuzz from the hair before you spin it.  You don’t have to get it all, just use a comb or scissor points or even your fingers to get most of it out.   This helps the spinning process considerably. Rob Gregoire Dallas, Tx Take a run down to your local drug store, go to the cosmetics section and pick up an eyebrow comb… I got the one with metal teeth… real tight and does a great job on removing the fuzz from deer hair.

Static electricity is also a problem when working with any animal hair.   I use Static Guard to remove that problem.  You can find it in most super markets in the detergent/soap area. Good Luck Al Beatty BT’s Fly Fishing Products Bozeman, MT (catalog avail)

Response:

Recently viewed two videos by Chris Helm (Hooked on Fly Tying series). Chris answers most questions one could have about stacking and spinning deer hair.  Also, Dave Whitlock’s video on bass flies is quite a work. Between them, a tyer should have no trouble tying deer hair patterns for trout or bass.   VA Angler

Response:

I’ve enjoyed reading about various  techniques to improve spinning deer hair.  Has anyone tried STACKING deer hair?    I prefer this method over spinning. It allows me to segment the color of the bass bug I’m tying (white underneath, green on top).   You can create a very realistic fly.  Comments?

Response:

writes: Has anyone tried STACKING deer hair?    I prefer this method over spinning. It allows me to segment the color of the bass bug I’m tying (white underneath, green on top).   You can create a very realistic fly.  Comments?

As the saying goes,"You Betcha!"  You can see some good examples of the technique on Jimmy Nix’s Tying Bass Flies or Dave Whitlock’s 2 tape set. If you get a chance to see Mark Hoesner (sp?) at any of the shows, stop and watch as he is amazing.                                          Dan Dan Gracia                                                               Orvis West Coast Fly Fishing Schools If you kill that big fish you can’t catch ‘em again.  So what if they eat other fish?  If you kill the big ones there will only be little ones left (funny how that works!).

Response:

Just as a side note… Deer hair isn’t really hollow, its more a function of the number of air pockets that are in the hair. The hair on the back of the animal is less "hollow" than on the belly due to this feature of air pockets. I find that the belly hair is better for bass bug bodies and the back hair is better for collars. I really stay away from deer hair for caddis and use elk hair because even the worst deer hair still flares too much for my taste. Charles (Chuck) Abbott      The MITRE Corporation "There is not a single blackfly in the Adirondacks. All are married and have large families." Henry Wells

Response:

Both of the other posters have given excellent advise. If however, you still have trouble, get this video- "Tying Bass flies with Jimmy Nix". The man REALLY knows how to teach it. Good luck. — Phil Koenig Manhattan Custom Tackle Ltd. http://fishdoc.com./ "I’m the boss,so WHATEVER I say is OK"

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m a beginning tyer who has been having trouble with making muddlers.   I’m hung up on the deer hair – have been having a hard time getting the hair to make that funky head.  ANy suggestions? THanks, JOnathan Vlaming Duluth, Minnesota (woke up to -43 today, WITHOUT the windchill!!) OK, first pay close attention to the deer hair you’re using. The deer hair must be hollow, that crucial. You can try your deer hair when you push with your finger nail onto some deer hairs. If they spread very well -use it, if not- use it for deer hair caddis. BTW, the best hair for spinning is Caribou, try it (especially if you start tying Irresistibles). Another problem might be the thread – If you change from 8/0 to 6/0 you will less likely break the tread. I usually wind a base of thread before I spin the deer hair (before you start spinning the deer hair make one half hitch just in case you brake the tread). Take a small (!) bunch of deer hair, hold it onto the hook and make one tread turn and then pull it tight and make another turn exactly on top of the first- the deer hair will spread around the hook. Push the hair bach to the shank and make one half hitch (just in case you break the tread) and tie in the next bunch of Caribou. After you spinned enough deer hair whip finish (or make two half hitches- you can do the latter faster and it is equaly stable). Trim the hair with a razor blade. I don’t use a hair stacker for the deer hair (for the first bunch of deer hair you can if you like). I usually take a bunch and take out very long hairs, then I hold the bunch at the tip and pull out very short hairs and underfur. That is simply faster and it looks more natural to me. If you tie in the deer hair close to the base it spinns easier! Hope that helps               Thomas

Forgot to mention two things: The best introduction how to work with deer hair is probably in the WESTERN FLY TYING MANUAL VOL. II b= y Jack Dennis (revised edition!). One tip of Jack is: tie at least on dozen of each fly, with tying only two or three you won’t get = it- don’t be frustrated (I can confirm by myself, it works only this way: tie at least one or two dozen- the only way to get real go= od flies and to improve speed).                   Thomas – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ——                                         /                       Harvard University                                                / Institute for Molecular and Cellular Biology                     / 16 Divinity Ave.                                                / Cambridge, MA 02138                                            / Tel: (USA) 617 495 3716                                       / Fax:  (USA)  617 495 9300                                 O  /                                                          |_/o                                                        / | _______

Response:

I had the same hangup when I started.  I found that the thread and packer were key to success with deer hair.  First, a good strong thread (kevlar if you can afford the bulk) was critical for me as a beginner.  A descent packer helped, too – especially when using the heavier threads.  Lastly, try trimming with a razor if you’re not doing so already.  I’ve found the razor yeilds a much better shape when all is said and done. — Ray Anderson Fall River MA  USA "Imagination is more important than knowledge." –  Albert Einstein

Response:

I’m a beginning tyer who has been having trouble with making muddlers.   I’m hung up on the deer hair – have been having a hard time getting the hair to make that funky head.  ANy suggestions? THanks, JOnathan Vlaming Duluth, Minnesota (woke up to -43 today, WITHOUT the windchill!!)

OK, first pay close attention to the deer hair you’re using. The deer hair must be hollow, that crucial. You can try your deer hair when you push with your finger nail onto some deer hairs. If they spread very well -use it, if not- use it for deer hair caddis. BTW, the best hair for spinning is Caribou, try it (especially if you start tying Irresistibles). Another problem might be the thread – If you change from 8/0 to 6/0 you will less likely break the tread. I usually wind a base of thread before I spin the deer hair (before you start spinning the deer hair make one half hitch just in case you brake the tread). Take a small (!) bunch of deer hair, hold it onto the hook and make one tread turn and then pull it tight and make another turn exactly on top of the first- the deer hair will spread around the hook. Push the hair bach to the shank and make one half hitch (just in case you break the tread) and tie in the next bunch of Caribou. After you spinned enough deer hair whip finish (or make two half hitches- you can do the latter faster and it is equaly stable). Trim the hair with a razor blade. I don’t use a hair stacker for the deer hair (for the first bunch of deer hair you can if you like). I usually take a bunch and take out very long hairs, then I hold the bunch at the tip and pull out very short hairs and underfur. That is simply faster and it looks more natural to me. If you tie in the deer hair close to the base it spinns easier! Hope that helps                Thomas ——                                          /                       Harvard University                                                / Institute for Molecular and Cellular Biology                     / 16 Divinity Ave.                                                / Cambridge, MA 02138                                            / Tel: (USA) 617 495 3716                                       / Fax:  (USA)  617 495 9300                                 O  /                                                           |_/o                                                         / | _______

Response:

I’m a beginning tyer who has been having trouble with making muddlers.   I’m hung up on the deer hair – have been having a hard time getting the hair to make that funky head.  ANy suggestions? THanks, JOnathan Vlaming Duluth, Minnesota (woke up to -43 today, WITHOUT the windchill!!)

Response:

Try Fly & Field at http://www.flyfield.com. e-mail them and ask about Chris Helm’s deer hair products. He sorts the various hair from various species to get you just the stuff you need for the particular job. Todd

Response:

I’m a beginning tyer who has been having trouble with making muddlers.   I’m hung up on the deer hair – have been having a hard time getting the hair to make that funky head.  ANy suggestions?

Practice if necessary with thread strong enough never to break; and be sure to comb out all fluff from hair butts first. Place a pinch (no more than will fit in a .22 shell case) of aligned hair across the naked hook shank (i.e. no thread base at all) and secure with two loose turns of thread.  Then pull gradually but quite hard, to spin thread around the hook while you tighten. If OK, keep tension on thread while you shove everything rearward with thumbnail(s) — not too much — and then spin on some more.  Only experience will indicate how much hair to use.  Sparse heads sink better, massive heads float better. — |  Donald Phillipson, 4180 Boundary Road, Carlsbad Springs,  | |        Ontario, Canada, K0A 1K0, tel. 613 822 0734         |

Response:

Hi, I see another person steered you toward Chris Helm — he did you a real favour.  Chris has some great hair and you can reach him at 419-474-2348. His business is called White Tail Supplies or something like that. Just tell Chris what you need the hair for and he will make sure you get the right stuff. A tip: If you decide to go to a fly shop instead of calling Chris be sure to look for hair (in the packages, of course) that is basically light grey rather than dark grey.  The light grey hair will spin into a very nice muddler head BUT the dark grey hair will NOT. Good Luck! Al Beatty

Response:

donald thanks for the advise as I am haveing the same problem. I am new to fly tying, and fishing, I just started flyfishing here in northern alberta, some very good streams, just have to learn how to catch some fish keith wyman

Response: