Question:

Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

BWAH HAH HAH!!! Oh man, I gotta go, I think just wet myself!!! BWAHHHHH HAH HAHHH!!!! Oh Man, Oh GOD, here comes the floor!!!!! Rob — visit our web siite: http://www.randc.bizhosting.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

He is what he is! I will discuss a problem that anyone has with me but I will not put up with screaming idiots! — Jim Ferrill The Ellaville Bed Co. http://www.sowega.net/~jimkim/ rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Wow!  Everyone once in a while these HD/Lowes posts get pretty darn entertaining!  LOL Mike

Response:

David, May I introduce Matthew J. Prusik Jr.    He is whining on the post HD HORROR STORIES!!! about you. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Well, the very least you could have done was to offer the guy 50 bucks to get the eyesore out of the store for you. Then you could pushed bamboo wedges up under your finger nails by way of atonement. Then to show that you were really sincere, maybe have yourself drawn and quarter….. of course you might have found something painful to do to yourself in between. I think it’s shameful, the way you skinny little guys gotta keep on picking Enjoyed it immensely, David 8^). — Jim Warman http://www.telusplanet.net/public/mechanic – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about.

Response:

Now that you and the human-hemroid have each others names…  maybe you can get together and have tea or something. Nex time you stuck in tools and a freaker goes nuts on you…  defend yourseldf with a plunge-router…  will make for a better story…

Response:

Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor.  <snip snip

Better you than me, David.  I would have grabbed the closest tool and told him those were his nuts on the floor!  Oh well, glad you liked your visit from Sigh!  <g — Jim Mc Namara Future Collectibles www.futurecollectibles.com

Response:

Bet you like the paint department better now……got any deals???? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Nov. 5, 2000 The Home Depot 100 Borg Lane Anyplace, USA  12345 Dear Sirs: I would like to complain about the service I got while trying to purchase some paint at one of your stores today. I was patiently waiting in line to buy some paint.  Finally it was my turn, but just as I was ready to tell the gentleman what I needed, he was called away to work in the tool department.  A gentleman from the electrical department came to assist me.  He explained that when somebody goes to lunch, everybody just rotates into the next department to the left.  I didn’t think this made much sense but Home Depot seems to be a large company so they must know what they’re doing. At any rate, I asked him for 2 gallons of a pale pink for my daughters room. He then explained that he is from the electrical department and only deals in white, black and green.  I told him that I really wasn’t interested in any of those colors but wanted chip number 115 off of card P-2430.  He once again told me he would really like to help but as he was bound by law to only deal in white, black and green.  He excused himself to help a nice young lady who wanted some sky blue paint.  He explained that while he couldn’t sell her the blue, she had her choice of green,  which he said was very "earthy"; black, which he was neutral about; or white, which is the hot color this season. I grew disgusted with the whole situation when suddenly a huge ruckus erupted in the tool department.  I decided that enough was enough and started to leave the store.  I kept hearing a store employee tell some guy what an a-hole he was.  I looked at the two of them.  The employee was a slim guy with glasses in his mid thirties.  He had that swarthy look about him like he was from the Middle-East or Canada or one of those exotic locales you only read about.  The other guy was about 6′ 4 and the same slim build but he had a gut on him that would put any dedicated beer drinker to shame.  With the gut, he must have gone 300 lbs or better. Suddenly Mr. Gut turns around and storms out of the building.  I guess he didn’t see me because as he turned around to shout something back to the clerk, his gut hit me and knocked me into a display of Black and Decker power screwdrivers.  I hit the ground and all the screwdrivers fell on me. By the time I looked up, he was gone.  Just as I was getting to my feet, two of your other employees named Dino and Rocko knocked me back to the floor while giving chase to Mr. Gut.  Once again I was getting to my feet when Dino and Rocko came back in.  They were muttering about not catching the guy because he jumped into a stretch limo Ford F-350 (short bed).  They were impressed that the guy has so much money as to be able to afford one of those. I got out to my car, realized I left my keys and the paint counter and then had to go back in to get them.  The slim guy was back at the paint counter muttering something about the mean winter temperature in Alaska and generally shooting daggers at anybody who looked at him. Just then a voice came over the loud speaker that it was time for another lunch switch.  As I left, I heard the guy from Plumbing go to the Millwork department and try to explain to some poor guy that he didn’t know what a scarf joint was but if he wanted to join two pieces of baseboard, all he had to do was put male and female threads on the two ends and everything would be right as rain. In the future, I will be shopping at Builders Square or HomeQuarters.  There always seems to be a parking spot available… — Dolmen Productions http://members.home.net/dolmen.prod – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

LOL, Darn it you made me loose my soda all over my keyboard.  I guess you owe me a rebate on something or other Dear All,

Humor snipped – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and

Response:

Great Add-on. — Sincerely, Sy Kaplan Black Sheep Woodworks North Chittenden, Vermont http://www.blacksheepwoodworks.com

Response:

David, Do you have good health insurance up there in Canada?  :-)  Thanks for the belly laughs. — Sincerely, Sy Kaplan Black Sheep Woodworks North Chittenden, Vermont http://www.blacksheepwoodworks.com

Response:

Dear Steve, I was going to ask if that was you that Mr. Gut knocked down, I thought for sure I recognised the scarred hand from ABPF, but it was time to move to the left again, so I didn’t get a chance to chat. Mr. Gut is lucky this took place in New Jersey and not Texas. The HD employees down there are all issued Glock 9mm’s and part of the in-house training program involves close range marksmanship. Next time you are in a Texas HD, look for a bulge in the front of those fashionable back supports we are all issued. From re-reading the employee manuals addendum for Texican employees on rules of engagement and reasonable use of force, I would have been justified in winging him in the kneecap. Might have got me employee of the Month… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Hahahahhhahahahhh ROTFLMAO!!

Response:

you guys are killin me  lol

Response:

David,   Thanks for this.  I am LMAO at 7:30 am on a Monday morning, in an otherwise quiet office.  I know people think I’m strange now.  I read, and posted to the other thread/rant.  I’m glad I took the time to read this one too. P. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

–         PHoeve …Those that can, do. …The rest just talk about it. Before you buy.

Response:

David, David, David,  those "bulges in the front sides of the men’s back notice a lot of out of stater’s looking at the men’s back supports.  What’s up with that ?  LOL – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Steve, I was going to ask if that was you that Mr. Gut knocked down, I thought for sure I recognised the scarred hand from ABPF, but it was time to move to the left again, so I didn’t get a chance to chat. Mr. Gut is lucky this took place in New Jersey and not Texas. The HD employees down there are all issued Glock 9mm’s and part of the in-house training program involves close range marksmanship. Next time you are in a Texas HD, look for a bulge in the front of those fashionable back supports we are all issued. From re-reading the employee manuals addendum for Texican employees on rules of engagement and reasonable use of force, I would have been justified in winging him in the kneecap. Might have got me employee of the Month… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

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This is the most fun to hit this group in a long time. Now the kicker will be it was all a troll and he will have a big Gotcha! Well I’m hoping…… John

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Ahhh, you don’t understand at all the new world of political correctness… -Doug – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have always maintained that you should never get in trouble for speaking the truth.  Just my opinion!

Response:

I have always maintained that you should never get in trouble for speaking the truth.  Just my opinion!

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Dear Home Depot Customers:   I would like to take this opportunity to tell you what happens to those employees who are flushed out of the HD system.   We become deckhands in Alaska.  Some of us are more fortunate than others, in that we get jobs on commercials boats and therefore are not compelled to deal with clients.   Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.   Well, luckily for me we’d just taken off from port.  So at the time he was attempting to clamber up the fly ladder after me, he was a victim of too much booze and five foot waves.  I happily sat out the rest of my voyage to see with my walkman and the Eurythmics.   Now, at the time, Alaska fishing laws limited charter boats to two fish per person. The big guy (he kept bragging about some sort of Ford truck limo thing he owned–said he’s bought a wax replica of John Rocker to put on permanent display in it), drank all day and basically threw up the entire time.  He didn’t fish.  Or cut bait. Basically, he slept.  I cut bait.   We’d had a bad day on the water, and were heading back into port in Homer, AK. Mr. Big Guy gets up and suddenly wants to fish.  I, being 19 at the time, was in no position to stop him.  I wasn’t yet ornery enough to challenge men much larger and meaner than me to physical fights.  So, I baited up his hook for him and he took to fishing.   It’s really amazing how quickly one can be lost to the wonders of the sea, especially what with those big boat propellers whirring and spinning about.  Me being a simple girl, how would I know?   I just thought we’d gotten caught up in a nest of sea otters.  I don’t care how cute they look clapping their little hands, they’re pesky creatures to be sure…  It was a tragic accident, to be sure.  However, the rest of our passengers were very pleasantly surprised when they discovered all those "fancy filets" waiting for them at the fishing dock.   So, I hope this will encourage all HD customers to treat your future charter boat deckhands with some respect, as we are quite good with the gaff hook and the filet knife, and are willing to accommodate you in any way we see fit. We look forward to your next visit to Alaska!   Sincerely, Meredith PS:  Of course this is a satire, but I really was a deck hand in Alaska.  Talk about a cool place… "Suppose you were an idiot.  Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."  Mark Twain

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Don’t think of working EMS.  First they cuss you for arriving late, then they puke on you before they pass out and force you to dead lift their 300-lb carcasses out of the vehicle or up/down the narrow stairs.  That’s where the EMS corollary to Murphy’s come into play – "the bigger the patient the smaller your partner." Do I have to tell you how big my partner was they day I responded to a 460lb man ejected through (how, I’ll never know) the windscreen of a Toyota mini-pickup?

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.

Response:

That’s nothing. I got a paper cut on my finger at work one day last year. Null.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Don’t think of working EMS.  First they cuss you for arriving late, then they puke on you before they pass out and force you to dead lift their 300-lb carcasses out of the vehicle or up/down the narrow stairs.  That’s where the EMS corollary to Murphy’s come into play – "the bigger the patient the smaller your partner." Do I have to tell you how big my partner was they day I responded to a 460lb man ejected through (how, I’ll never know) the windscreen of a Toyota mini-pickup? Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.

Response:

That’s nothing. I got a paper cut on my finger at work one day last year. Null.

ROTFLMAO!

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Question:

    Hi, I have never been in eastern Sierra area, but I am planning to make a photo trip to there soon. Shooting landscape is the major purpose of my trip. My question to you are: (1) ‘What are the top 10 places you think a landscape photographer must visit and shoot?’

Alabama Hills (very hot in summer) Mono Lake Lee Vining Creek Yosemite Hot Creek Use your eyes and you will find plenty. — http://www.fnet.net/~ellis/photo/

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Having just gotten back from there I would add Bodie state park if you like ghost towns. I would also recommend a couple of sites at mono lake 1.  The south toufa (sp?) walk and tour 2.  The panum crater walk and tour. of course you can’t go wrong with anything in Yosemite. Make sure you have a place to stay before you go. btb

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –     Hi, I have never been in eastern Sierra area, but I am planning to make a photo trip to there soon. Shooting landscape is the major purpose of my trip. My question to you are: (1) ‘What are the top 10 places you think a landscape photographer must visit and shoot?’ Alabama Hills (very hot in summer) Mono Lake Lee Vining Creek Yosemite Hot Creek Use your eyes and you will find plenty. — http://www.fnet.net/~ellis/photo/

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(2) Best guide book for photo trip to Eastern Sierra    Any feedback/suggestions are appreciated. Ronald

Take a look at California’s Eastern Sierra, A Vistor’s Guide by Sue Irwin (Cachuma Press). Good photos and info and only $18. Claude

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Ronald, The Eastern Sierra is beautiful any time ofyear or day.  I suggest starting at one end of the Owens Valley and work your way through it, using your imagination.  You will no doubt find some spots of your own that are just as good or better than any that can be recommended. Bob Got questions?  Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com

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Come on over to my website and check out my sections on Mono Lake, Rock Creek, and the White Mountains. That will give you some ideas for shooting. I have some commentary there also in the different sections pertaining to those locations. http://www.californiapictures.com It is a good time now to shoot wildflowers in Mammoth Lakes. Go to Reds Meadow early, I mean early or you can’t drive your car. They will make you ride the trams after 6:30AM. They are trying to keep the traffic out. Dale Proctor * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

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Everyone has talked about Mono Lake, personally I haven’t been there, been close.  That is on a list of to-go places, however, I’ve been to Bodie which is a ghost town.  I think it is one of the nicest ghost towns that I’ve been to and would recommend it to others. Would need to gage your timing for lighting, etc. * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

Hi, Mono Lake is, without question, unique. But there are many other places of charm and beauty. On the web, start at http://www.395.com  This will give you links to about every place you’ll want to visit. It all depends on your tastes of course. In the Mammoth Lakes area, there are many opportunities to shoot wild flowers. Also consider Devil’s Postpile and Rainbow falls. The lakes basin is also nice with long and short hikes of various degrees of difficulty. The Mammoth Ranger Station can be very helpful! South of Mammoth Lakes you will find Convict Lake (morning shot), Hot Creek geo-thermal area (and fly fishing), McGee creek, and Little Lakes Valley. Little Lakes Valley is a very nice walk, spectacular at times, and not too strenuous, despite the high elevation. North of Mammoth is Lundy Canyon, fantastic in the fall.  The June Lake loop is another possibiliby, just south of Lee Vining. Lee Vining is, of course, where you will find Mono Lake as well as the eastern entrance to Yosemite via Tioga Pass. This is a fantastic road, an engineering feat (and perfectly safe), with grand vistas to the east. Tuolomne Meadows, just a few miles inside the park will give you a taste of granit domes. Before the park entrace is a road to the right (north) that takes you to Saddle Bag Lake. North of Lee Vining, about 5 mi before you get to Bridgeport, is the turn off to Bodie. Great pictures here! But watch the sun. The park is open from 9:00 am to 7:00 pm in the summer. You can shoot in August until about 10:30 am and then again after about 3:30. When the sun is low you get wonderful colors in the wooden buildings. When the sun is high, you can try to take some interiors through windows. Shooting anywhere in the Eastern Sierra generally requires a polarizer (but be careful; if you polarize to strongly the sky will turn almost black). Also, because of the altitude and thin atmosphere there is a lot of blue coming through. A 81A or 81B (better) will give you truer colors. One last tip. Watch the dust! A lot of it is pumice and it can scratch your glass. (Actually pumice is the foam form of the black obsidion, which is  volcanic glass.)  If you are interested, I have a section on Bodie on my webpage with links to other sites. (I’m in the process of re-doing the sections on Sierra Wild Flowers and the Eastern Sierra.)  http://toms_place_2.tripod.com Enjoy your trip! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –      Hi, I have never been in eastern Sierra area, but I am planning to make a photo trip to there soon. Shooting landscape is the major purpose of my trip. My question to you are: (1) ‘What are the top 10 places you think a landscape photographer must visit and shoot?’ (2) Best guide book for photo trip to Eastern Sierra     Any feedback/suggestions are appreciated. Ronald

Response:

     Hi, I have never been in eastern Sierra area, but I am planning to make a photo trip to there soon. Shooting landscape is the major purpose of my trip. My question to you are: (1) ‘What are the top 10 places you think a landscape photographer must visit and shoot?’ (2) Best guide book for photo trip to Eastern Sierra     Any feedback/suggestions are appreciated. Ronald

  shourong.shu.vcf

< 1K Download

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Mono LAke. If it is no #1 then it is #2 or 3. Shoot at sunrise. GO th day before to scope out the area then come back for sunrise. With a little luch you will have clouds inte western sky andit will explode with color. Got questions?  Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com

Response:

     Hi, I have never been in eastern Sierra area, but I am planning to make a photo trip to there soon. Shooting landscape is the major purpose of my trip. My question to you are: (1) ‘What are the top 10 places you think a landscape photographer must visit and shoot?’

Besides putting Mono Lake at the top of the list, here are some ideas in no particular order: – Mono Lake   See my "East of the Sierra" web gallery for some images from Mono Lake   (http://www.designsinlight.com/gallery.htm) – Alambama Hills   Near Lone Pine and Mt. Whitney, and where many westerns were shot. – White & Inyo Mountains – Bristlecone Pine forest   Some of the oldest living things in the world (4000+ years) and very cool looking   Some info: http://www.sonic.net/bristlecone/WhiteMts.html – Bodie ghost town – June Lake One meteorlogical feature to keep an eye out for is lenticular clouds. They form where there is a strong, steady wind blowing over mountains, in places like Owens Valley east of the Sierra Nevada. They can make for some spectacular skies, especially at sunrise or sunset. Have fun! It’s a beautiful part of the world. gene — Gene Anderson http://www.designsinlight.com/

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Question:

(Sandy’s observations snipped) — /* Sandy Pittendrigh                  –oO0

I think we’ve been down these threads before Sandy, but they are worth repeating.  I asked the question once before and never got a definitive answer (like you ever do in this group); What about crushing ants and rolling your ant pattern around in a bottle of crushed ants?  Work? Ethical?  I was stopped and questioned at length once by a game warden because he thought my Bio-Strike looked like Power Bait!  I might try the ant thing this summer though.  Mossy Creek Browns are notoriously pickey! Just an additional note here about the scent thing.  A Wildlife Biologist/Fraternity Brother always swore by Oil of Anise.  Said fish and small game couldn’t resist the smell.  What if some enterprising floatant maker developed Anise scented floatant?  Ant scented, Mayfly scented floatant lines? — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

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Just an additional note here about the scent thing.  A Wildlife Biologist/Fraternity Brother always swore by Oil of Anise.  Said fish and small game couldn’t resist the smell.  What if some enterprising floatant maker developed Anise scented floatant?  Ant scented, Mayfly scented floatant lines?

I know I’ve mentioned this here before; but it’s been a while, so here it is again.   The state regs in MD used to have a simple clause for artificials-only water, "if it smells like bait, it is bait." Joe F.

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I know I’ve mentioned this here before; but it’s been a while, so here it is again.   The state regs in MD used to have a simple clause for artificials-only water, "if it smells like bait, it is bait." Joe F.

If your gonna smear dead ants all over your fly then why not just hook a dead ant on the thing.  For that matter, why not dispense with the extra furry junk and just use the ant?  Let’s see, worms will hang on a hook easier than ants.  How about just using a worm and a big ball of strike indicater about 2 feet up the line?  Add to that a one piece bamboo "fly" rod and you have something which sounds familiar. — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

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Dear Chief the extra chili last night and they really enjoyed it. They howled alot during the night but seemed fine this A.M.  You forgot to take the extra set of underware I washed for you.  Perhaps you can borrow a pair from DEave, use your suspenders to keep them up.   Try to stay away from that Fontenberry guy, last time you went fishing with him you came home with alot of new dirty words and some screwed up opinions.  Take your celostral pill each  morning.your metamusal each night and don"t forget you should have one Manhatten each night. Your side of the tribe has never been able to handle firewater,

Response:

"Wayne Hart" wrote <snip Just an additional note here about the scent thing.  A Wildlife Biologist/Fraternity Brother always swore by Oil of Anise.  Said fish and small game couldn’t resist the smell.  What if some enterprising floatant maker developed Anise scented floatant?  Ant scented, Mayfly scented floatant lines? Wayne

How about giving the whole area a rotten egg scent after one of Dave LaCourse’s clave breakfasts?  It isn’t from Anise but that’s close. Ernie

Response:

Knowledge is power.

Excellent post Sandy. Mu, who spent the morning alternating between spinnerbaits and wooly buggers.  Didn’t bring my minoow trap though.

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I know I’ve mentioned this here before; but it’s been a while, so here it is again.   The state regs in MD used to have a simple clause for artificials-only water, "if it smells like bait, it is bait." Joe F. If your gonna smear dead ants all over your fly then why not just hook a dead ant on the thing.  For that matter, why not dispense with the extra furry junk and just use the ant?  Let’s see, worms will hang on a hook easier than ants.  How about just using a worm and a big ball of strike indicater about 2 feet up the line?  Add to that a one piece bamboo "fly" rod and you have something which sounds familiar. — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine!

Man, y’all gotta complicate thangs…get a old field phone and a bucket…or for you wacky types, Nitromon S and a good defense lawyer…you can fish and check fer erl… R To crank is exercise…. To blast Dangerous!

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Joe Fleischman writes: I know I’ve mentioned this here before; but it’s been a while, so here it is again.   The state regs in MD used to have a simple clause for artificials-only water, "if it smells like bait, it is bait." Joe F.

Well hell, Joe!  I guess I can’t fish in my favorite waders.   Hmmmmm, come to think of it, they don’t smell like bait, they smell Dave

Response:

Ernie Harrison writes: How about giving the whole area a rotten egg scent after one of Dave LaCourse’s clave breakfasts?  It isn’t from Anise but that’s close. Ernie

Ernie, damn it, I resent that!  My breakfasts at the clave are eaten by all with much gusto and no complaints.  If you ever get your scrawny ass to one of these claves, I will prove it to you, if I have to force feed the %&# eggs to ya!  <g And then I will get my buddy Jeffy to deep fry you an egg in bacon grease and we will force you to eat it.  Then, we’ll seal you in your waders, and send you on your way.   And people will shun you, forever and ever. Dave

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Indian Joe sends a smoke signal: Dear Chief the extra chili last night and they really enjoyed it. They howled alot during the night but seemed fine this A.M. You forgot to take the extra set of underware I washed for you.  Perhaps you can borrow a pair from DEave, use your suspenders to keep them up.   Try to stay away from that Fontenberry guy, last time you went fishing with him you came home with alot of new dirty words and some screwed up opinions. Take your celostral pill each  morning.your metamusal each night and don"t forget you should have one Manhatten each night. Your side of the tribe has never been able to handle firewater,

Golly, Forty, only you and I made IJ’s celebrity  list this time around.  That underware stuff — is that like Tupper-ware? Your Pal, DEave

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Charlie Choc: My breakfasts at the clave are eaten by all with much gusto and no complaints.   Never knew you were the cook at Tooties (where I ate *my* clave breakfasts)<g. — Charlie…

That’s right, you never stay at clave central.  Put it this way, if you liked Tooties, you will love the breakfast IJ and I will fix you.  (pssst, don’t eat Jeffy’s eggs). Dave LaCourse

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Charlie Choc: My breakfasts at the clave are eaten by all with much gusto and no complaints. Never knew you were the cook at Tooties (where I ate *my* clave breakfasts)<g. — Charlie… That’s right, you never stay at clave central.  Put it this way, if you liked Tooties, you will love the breakfast IJ and I will fix you.  (pssst, don’t eat Jeffy’s eggs). Dave LaCourse

i’m workin on lasagna this year…hmmm…now, lemmesee, where’s the bacon grease… jeff

Response:

In the Great State of North Carolina, it is unlawful to desecrate the body of the dead.  Furthermore, anyone who *smears* the dead aunt onto a fly pattern is just plain sick!!

Umm, Rosanne Rosannadanna, that’s "ant".  Not "aunt", "ant". Regards, Jeff

Response:

My God man, don’t unbuckle that wader belt up wind! Fishing tip for the day:  A fisherman in neoprenes with a tight wader belt can be used to replace a punctured pontoon if you feed him enuf Burro Chilli.  Hint: ensure he is secured with a slip knot for easy release and to allow for expansion.                                     Frank Reid

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Joe Fleischman writes: I know I’ve mentioned this here before; but it’s been a while, so here it is again.   The state regs in MD used to have a simple clause for artificials-only water, "if it smells like bait, it is bait." Joe F. Well hell, Joe!  I guess I can’t fish in my favorite waders.   Hmmmmm, come to think of it, they don’t smell like bait, they smell Dave

Response:

Folks, In the Great State of North Carolina, it is unlawful to desecrate the body of the dead.  Furthermore, anyone who *smears* the dead aunt onto a fly pattern is just plain sick!!

If you just hold it close to aunt Bea, though, it’ll pick up some of that gravy smell and that should work. — Charlie…

Response:

Folks, In the Great State of North Carolina, it is unlawful to desecrate the body of the dead.  Furthermore, anyone who *smears* the dead aunt onto a fly pattern is just plain sick!! Op

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I know I’ve mentioned this here before; but it’s been a while, so here it is again.   The state regs in MD used to have a simple clause for artificials-only water, "if it smells like bait, it is bait." Joe F. If your gonna smear dead ants all over your fly then why not just hook a dead ant on the thing.  For that matter, why not dispense with the extra furry junk and just use the ant?  Let’s see, worms will hang on a hook easier than ants.  How about just using a worm and a big ball of strike indicater about 2 feet up the line?  Add to that a one piece bamboo "fly" rod and you have something which sounds familiar. — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

You’ll have to ask Al for sure, but I think Tupper just wears big ol’ cotton panties…

Gee thanks.   That’s a visual I could have done without.  :-) Joe F.

Response:

Nice post.  The only thing I would question is the part about lateral lines left out of the fly fishing definition – I think everyone agrees a muddler minnow is a fly, and part of its appeal is supposedly that it gives off enough vibration to get a trout’s interest. Anyway, I think part of the reason some people are attracted to fly fishing is to challenge themselves to fool trout.  The less real the "bait/fly" is, the more challenge there is in the deception.  The more real it is, the less challenge.  How much people care to challenge themselves in this respect seems to be a very personal thing.  The more natural the whole *scenario* is, the more challenge.  Some people will set up a chum line of real beetles to be followed by their own beetle imitation.  I don’t know how legal that is, but it’s not entirely natural. Knowledge is power.

– Regards, Jeff Before you buy.

Response:

Golly, Forty, only you and I made IJ’s celebrity  list this time around.  That underware stuff — is that like Tupper-ware?

You’ll have to ask Al for sure, but I think Tupper just wears big ol’ cotton panties… — Charlie…

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My breakfasts at the clave are eaten by all with much gusto and no complaints.  

Never knew you were the cook at Tooties (where I ate *my* clave breakfasts)<g. — Charlie…

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Knowledge is power. I like to know things about fish behavior. I often try things just to see what will happen. Once my experiment is finished, my new experimental technique may or may not become a steady habit. But I seldom regret trying something once. There is a lot to be learned from bait fishing for instance. Years ago–when it was still legal to fish with sculpins in Montana–I used to go sculpin fishing once every two or three years. If you use barbless hooks and set the hook when you first detect the strike, you get to return the fish unharmed, if you choose to do so. More important, in a few short hours of sculpin fishing you can learn about large brown trout behavior what might take a lifetime of fishing with flies. I used bait fishing to make myself a better streamer fisherman. You can learn a lot about riffle feeding behavior too–by fishing with live nymphs. The feedback rate (the number of fish you catch) is so great you learn more in a very short period of time (when you fish with live nymphs). When fishing with live nymphs doesn’t work, for instance, you know the fish are asleep. You learn to recognize those times, and not to waste your time. When the fish *are* on the feed, you can catch so many more fish in such a short period of time, you don’t have to work with hunches anymore. You quickly learn how to size up a riffle: to know where the big ones lie and how the little ones line up behind. You learn how much weight to use, how much slack to throw, and how and when to wait for the strike. You can learn all of those things from fly fishing too, of course. But you learn it slower, over a much longer time period, and you reach conclusions with far less confidence when fly fishing—-because the feedback rate is so slow. We do what we want. I choose to bait fish occasionally because I learn from it. I fly fish frequently because I prefer to fish that way. PUNCHLINE:    The line between bait fishing and fly fishing can be substantially obscured.  I’ve been making soft-bodied, open-cell foam nymphs for years. They’re good looking nymphs. Because they’re soft, fish don’t spit them out. They swim around chewing on soft nymphs, which makes it easier to detect the strikes. With soft foam nymphs, you don’t necessarily get more strikes, but you definately feel more of them happen.   Then, the other day, while fishing in the Madison canyon, I found a fat golden stonefly nymph under a rock. I killed it on a whim: I crushed it up and squeezed the resulting paste into the body of a soft foam nymph. I rolled the soft foam nymph back and forth in the palm of my hand, in a puddle of bug paste. That (open-cell foam) nymph, at that point, became equally effective as a live bait. But I could cast it as far as my fly rod would reach. I caught one fish after another in a riffle I had been working steadily and unsuccessfully foam nymph, but without the bug paste. Now I’m not suggesting anybody else should do anything like this at all. But this is interesting information. Fish detect their prey by: 1) eye sight 2) by detecting vibrations with their lateral line 3) by smell. And smell, I think, is the most powerful attractant of all. Now that I think of it, perhaps fly fishing (for those who worry about categories and definitions) means fishing with a fly rod in a way that only targets the piscatorial visual cortex: IE with no help from the lateral line, nor from the (fishes) olfactory system. For those of us who enjoy breaking the rules occasionally (but still like casting with a fly rod), you can also target the lateral line–with lightweight fly rod wigglers. And you can target the olfactory system too (and still do long distance fly rod casting) by fishing with soft foam nymphs……and bug paste. — /* Sandy Pittendrigh                  –oO0  * http://nervana.montana.edu/~sandy  */

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Question:

   Ok folks, tommorow will be a one day snapshot of flyfishing accross the globe, all to be posted here for the world to enjoy.  I will not be anywhere near a computer until Monday morning, so let’s decide what the header will be for our results so they’re all in one thread.  I know some participants may post over the weekend, so for simplicity’s sake, let’s call it Fishing Day Results.  Yes?  No?    I’ll be heading up to some high desert lakes myself, feeling pretty good about the prospects.  We’ll see on Monday! JE

And for those who can’t fish tomorrow, Sunday the 18th will automatically be deleted and the 17th will carry over for another 24 hours. Big Al

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   Ok folks, tommorow will be a one day snapshot of flyfishing accross the globe, all to be posted here for the world to enjoy.  I will not be anywhere near a computer until Monday morning, so let’s decide what the header will be for our results so they’re all in one thread.  I know some participants may post over the weekend, so for simplicity’s sake, let’s call it Fishing Day Results.  Yes?  No?    I’ll be heading up to some high desert lakes myself, feeling pretty good about the prospects.  We’ll see on Monday! JE

Lucky b—-r, I’ll  be stuck battling a fibreglas hatch on the Credit. Cheers Visit The Streamer Page at http://www.cgocable.net/~pcharles/index.html

Response:

    Ok folks, tommorow will be a one day snapshot of flyfishing accross the globe, all to be posted here for the world to enjoy.  I will not be anywhere near a computer until Monday morning, so let’s decide what the header will be for our results so they’re all in one thread.  I know some participants may post over the weekend, so for simplicity’s sake, let’s call it Fishing Day Results.  Yes?  No?     I’ll be heading up to some high desert lakes myself, feeling pretty good about the prospects.  We’ll see on Monday! JE

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Question:

    Lately I have been having the worst kind of luck.. the kind only a newbie can have I have attended some fly courses and been watching the videos and the river where I live (calgary and the bow river) I have meandered the river watching the hatches and notching the pools and riffles along the river but only sporadic luck so far..perhaps the ones I catch are mentally challenged?? I know that I am matching the hatches and when the water shows no surface action am trying nymphs that the local fly shop has on their board of recommendations…. any help would be appreciated from any seasoned fly folks..especially if you can pass on some advice on nymphing techniques.. I believe that i am doing something wrong but am not sure what thanks for the help .      Pierre

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Have only fished the lovely Bow wilth a guide. (Dave Campbell, does any bodu know whats happed to him?)  The Bow only becomes productive thru and below Calgary, after it develops a food chain.  Divide the larger water into many smaller waters visually and fish these smaller divisions as if they were small waters.  Also strongly consider, streamers there .  Especially large 4-6 black wooly buggers to see if you can move some fish.  Oldies have exactly the same fishing experience you do, they just lie about it. Schuhfly

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   Lately I have been having the worst kind of luck.. the kind only a newbie can have I have attended some fly courses and been watching the videos and the river where I live (calgary and the bow river) I have meandered the river watching the hatches and notching the pools and riffles along the river but only sporadic luck so far..perhaps the ones I catch are mentally challenged?? I know that I am matching the hatches and when the water shows no surface action am trying nymphs that the local fly shop has on their board of recommendations…. any help would be appreciated from any seasoned fly folks..especially if you can pass on some advice on nymphing techniques.. I believe that i am doing something wrong but am not sure what thanks for the help .     Pierre

Shoot Pierre…you’ve been occupying your time in and around flyfishing. This is not bad luck, this is exceptionally good luck.  Catching fish is such a small part of it….and it will come,  you’re just paying your dues… Bag the videos and courses though, IMO. — TimW – Halfordian Golfer Guilt replaced the creel…

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Question:

Eric was quick to say he thought whirling disease was a bad deal, that it undoubtedly played a significant part. But he (and others, increasingly) also pointed out that whirling disease seems to coincide with poor stream conditions: overly silted streambeds below damns or in badly cattle-tromped creeks, like lower Hound Creek and/or the Ruby.

You may have something with the contributing factors involved with WD. It seems to follow here in CO, the areas I know of that are hardest hit by WD are silted areas. Maybe silt is needed in the parasites life cycle. Anyone know if there’s been any research on this? One of the stretches of the Colorado that has lost almost all of its rainbow s under sixteen inches has numerous silty areas. It was an extremely good rainbow fishery before WD.  The remaining rainbows have been spawning successfully but are dying when young. Browns have started to fill in the void. Does anyone know if Cutts are as susceptible to WD as rainbows? Willi

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What is the current thought on taking fish that are obviously infected? Is it in any way our responsibility to kill fish that are deformed and doomed to a slow miserable death? Is there a mechanism for reporting infected fish that are caught? I have no idea what the answers to my questions should be, can anyone pipe in and clear this up for me? Ben Holmes Boulder, CO

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Sandy, I will not list your long post on why no rainbow in the Madison and is it/Isn’t it whirling disease…. just want to comment .. first of all their is an outstanding site on Whirling disease kept by the montana folks, which is easy to find with a search engine on "W… D… montana".   From this and following our local parasite problem … Piscacida (spelling???) something…. a dinoflagellant (again spelling???)…. seems they may both have some common elements… like nutrients, water flow and temperature AND the pest to make an impact…  Meaning some watersheds  without all of the other elements don’t necessarily kill fish… takes the whole package of things… might explain the logic… Anyway locally, we are Zeroing in on hog farms and chicken farms which at low water and high summer temps cause of a "bloom" and changes in the parasite and result in somewhat localized fish kills…  visit the WD site and read the stuff there…. truly first rate research …. for some good insight…. Alan E. Hoover       to quote one of my favorite authors: "Fly fishing is such great fun, it really ought to be done in bed"  John Voelker, aka Robert Traver

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It’s my understanding that trout can only be infected during the first six months of their life cycle and as long as they make it to a year they will survive even with deformities. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Silt is important in the parasites life cycle. The WD organism uses a tubifex worm as an intermediate host. It cycles between these worms and the trout. The tubifex worms are a small earthworm-like creature that occurs in silty bottoms of streams. Siltation has been identified as one major factor contributing to the incidence of whirling disease in an area. Cutthroat are susceptible. I think most salmonids are, except for coho salmon and slpake. The disease causes most damage when very young fish (newly hatched) are infected, so any species that has oyung present at the time the free-living, infective stage of the parasite is in the water is at risk. Damage decreases with  fish age since the parasite mostly destroys cartilage. Fish that are a few years old tend to be less damaged by the parasite. Eric was quick to say he thought whirling disease was a bad deal, that it undoubtedly played a significant part. But he (and others, increasingly) also pointed out that whirling disease seems to coincide with poor stream conditions: overly silted streambeds below damns or in badly cattle-tromped creeks, like lower Hound Creek and/or the Ruby. You may have something with the contributing factors involved with WD. It seems to follow here in CO, the areas I know of that are hardest hit by WD are silted areas. Maybe silt is needed in the parasites life cycle. Anyone know if there’s been any research on this? One of the stretches of the Colorado that has lost almost all of its rainbow s under sixteen inches has numerous silty areas. It was an extremely good rainbow fishery before WD.  The remaining rainbows have been spawning successfully but are dying when young. Browns have started to fill in the void. Does anyone know if Cutts are as susceptible to WD as rainbows?

– Brian D. Nelson Diamond N Outfitters, Missoula, Montana http://www.montana.com/dno/dno.htm

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Silt is important in the parasites life cycle. The WD organism uses a tubifex worm as an intermediate host. It cycles between these worms and the trout. The tubifex worms are a small earthworm-like creature that occurs in silty bottoms of streams. Siltation has been identified as one major factor contributing to the incidence of whirling disease in an area. Cutthroat are susceptible. I think most salmonids are, except for coho salmon and slpake. The disease causes most damage when very young fish (newly hatched) are infected, so any species that has oyung present at the time the free-living, infective stage of the parasite is in the water is at risk. Damage decreases with  fish age since the parasite mostly destroys cartilage. Fish that are a few years old tend to be less damaged by the parasite. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Eric was quick to say he thought whirling disease was a bad deal, that it undoubtedly played a significant part. But he (and others, increasingly) also pointed out that whirling disease seems to coincide with poor stream conditions: overly silted streambeds below damns or in badly cattle-tromped creeks, like lower Hound Creek and/or the Ruby. You may have something with the contributing factors involved with WD. It seems to follow here in CO, the areas I know of that are hardest hit by WD are silted areas. Maybe silt is needed in the parasites life cycle. Anyone know if there’s been any research on this? One of the stretches of the Colorado that has lost almost all of its rainbow s under sixteen inches has numerous silty areas. It was an extremely good rainbow fishery before WD.  The remaining rainbows have been spawning successfully but are dying when young. Browns have started to fill in the void. Does anyone know if Cutts are as susceptible to WD as rainbows? Willi

– Tim Lysyk http://www.telusplanet.net/public/timlysyk http://www.telusplanet.net/public/cnangler/html

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A few years ago–when the news about whirling disease in Montana’s Madison river first broke–I remember getting in    He was angry at the Montana Fish and Game. He agreed that whirling disease existed in the river, and thought it played a role in the dramatic rainbow population decline. But he thought it was a minor role, and suspected that whirling disease may well have been present for years: even during the years of plenty. He attributed the dramatic decline to a major loss of spawing habitat in Slide Inn area, where shallow spawing runs had been whiped out in a high water year some 5-6 years back….and to too many fishermen trompling the few remaining spawing beds during the early season spawn. I was pissed off at him, because I liked (still do) Dick Vincent and his cohorts at the Fish and Game department. So we exchanged poison email for a while, and then we both took a powder. spent yesterday skiing with an old friend: Eric Shores, who has been guiding the madison forever (doesn’t seem like too long ago that Eric and Randy and George and George and Paul and a host of other guides were the young interlopers, and now we’re all 40-50 or more, and the old vets, it seems). Anyway, back to the main point. Eric said "yes, it’s true" the rainbow fishing is way off up the river. But says it’s as good or better than it ever was below Varney bridge. That section of the river has always been mostly browns anyway, but there were and are plenty of good rainbows too. ..that spawn in the channels above Ennis lake. And Eric pointed out how bad the Slide Inn area looks. I can’t deny it. What once was a series of dandy little side channels below Quake Lake has been a deep-fast flood channel for years. Even more interesting is the fact that whirling disease has been discovered in a dozen or more other locations across Montana–but without the dramatic drop in rainbow populations. Eric was quick to say he thought whirling disease was a bad deal, that it undoubtedly played a significant part. But he (and others, increasingly) also pointed out that whirling disease seems to coincide with poor stream conditions: overly silted streambeds below damns or in badly cattle-tromped creeks, like lower Hound Creek and/or the Ruby.   It’s also interesting to note that it’s hard to raise money in a cattle state for stream-bank habitat improvement projects, and a hell of a lot easier to raise (big) money for researching whirling disease. I still like and respect most of the people I know at Montana Fish and Game. But I don’t necessarily swallow their line. At least not completely. Not any more. I’d like to hear what others think, especially if they think they have something new to say about this subject. —  * Center for Computational Biology    * Montana State Bozeman  (406) 994-7061  * http://www.nervana.montana.edu/~sandy */

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 It is interesting that the flow data from MT. Power at Hebgen lake is missing for the years that the Slide area was scoured by flood like flows that changed the upper river. WD was  "discovered" shortly there after. The idea that the spawning beds where washed away is not new , just not put forth as much. I do think that the flooding had a tremendous effect that has been minimized .   Harry – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -A few years ago–when the news about whirling disease in Montana’s Madison river first broke–I remember getting in   He was angry at the Montana Fish and Game. He agreed that whirling disease existed in the river, and thought it played a role in the dramatic rainbow population decline. But he thought it was a minor role, and suspected that whirling disease may well have been present for years: even during the years of plenty. He attributed the dramatic decline to a major loss of spawing habitat in Slide Inn area, where shallow spawing runs had been whiped out in a high water year some 5-6 years back….and to too many fishermen trompling the few remaining spawing beds during the early season spawn. I was pissed off at him, because I liked (still do) Dick Vincent and his cohorts at the Fish and Game department. So we exchanged poison email for a while, and then we both took a powder. spent yesterday skiing with an old friend: Eric Shores, who has been guiding the madison forever (doesn’t seem like too long ago that Eric and Randy and George and George and Paul and a host of other guides were the young interlopers, and now we’re all 40-50 or more, and the old vets, it seems). Anyway, back to the main point. Eric said "yes, it’s true" the rainbow fishing is way off up the river. But says it’s as good or better than it ever was below Varney bridge. That section of the river has always been mostly browns anyway, but there were and are plenty of good rainbows too. ..that spawn in the channels above Ennis lake. And Eric pointed out how bad the Slide Inn area looks. I can’t deny it. What once was a series of dandy little side channels below Quake Lake has been a deep-fast flood channel for years. Even more interesting is the fact that whirling disease has been discovered in a dozen or more other locations across Montana–but without the dramatic drop in rainbow populations. Eric was quick to say he thought whirling disease was a bad deal, that it undoubtedly played a significant part. But he (and others, increasingly) also pointed out that whirling disease seems to coincide with poor stream conditions: overly silted streambeds below damns or in badly cattle-tromped creeks, like lower Hound Creek and/or the Ruby.   It’s also interesting to note that it’s hard to raise money in a cattle state for stream-bank habitat improvement projects, and a hell of a lot easier to raise (big) money for researching whirling disease. I still like and respect most of the people I know at Montana Fish and Game. But I don’t necessarily swallow their line. At least not completely. Not any more. I’d like to hear what others think, especially if they think they have something new to say about this subject.

Response:

You may have something with the contributing factors involved with WD. It seems to follow here in CO, the areas I know of that are hardest hit by WD are silted areas. Maybe silt is needed in the parasites life cycle. Anyone know if there’s been any research on this? One of the stretches of the Colorado that has lost almost all of its rainbow s under sixteen inches has numerous silty areas. It was an extremely good rainbow fishery before WD.  The remaining rainbows have been spawning successfully but are dying when young. Browns have started to fill in the void. Does anyone know if Cutts are as susceptible to WD as rainbows?

Hi, The silt is the medium that supports the tubifex worms which carry the whirling disease spores.   Whenever you have whirling disease in a river you will find the biggest problem around areas with a lot of silt.  The tubifex worms carry the spores and live in the silt, the trout eat the worms, the spores infect the trout, the trout dies and spreads more of the spores, the worms feed on the decaying trout and the cycle starts all over again.  The spores do not become active until they are introduced into the trouts system.   The disease orignally came over from Europe with some infected brown trout.  It is a hatcery disease and is not naturally ocurring in the wild in the US, but is almost impossible to eliminate once it gains a foothold.  The sores can lie dormant for 30 years until they are ingested and are impervious to bleach and other cleansers which have been used in the hatchery races to try to eliminate them.  One report quoted a hatchery in Russia that was dried out for 30 years, then re-used and the fish all became infected. Montana was running a test program where they were trying to re-introduce the native cutthroat into the Madison river.  They have kept the native strain alive in a few hatcheries since in the wild both rainbows and brown trout out-compete them.  The idea was to identify some tributaries to the Madison with little or no siltation (and population of tubifex worms) and hopefully no evidence of WD.  They would plant the native Cuts in these tributaries. Cutthroat have exhibited the behavior of staying in their spawning tributaries for at least a year or two after hatching which may be the key to their survival.  Rainbows on the other hand return to the main stem much sooner after hatching.  WD attacks, deforms and kills young fish (older fish can survive an infestation) and the hope was that they would stay in the tribs long enough to escape the early infestation that can devestate rainbow populations.   By the time they return to the main stem which carries the disease, they are old enough to be able to survive it. Haven’t heard anything on this recently and lost the url of Montana’s fish and game site.  Would be worth doing a search on for more info, or perhaps someone on the ng has the url handy and will post it.                        Hope this helps,                                 Dan Dan Gracia Orvis West Coast Fly Fishing Schools

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Question:

Thanks for the URL correction guys. I spend too much time in DOS. BTW the illustrations will be in it within the wek and more to come. Thanx again Bob S — Bob Sheedy Arctic Fire Software Home of THE FISHING LOG and MASTER ANGLER http://www.articfire.com/arcfire/fishing.htm

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Lake Fly Fishing Instructional HTML The first in a series of HTML Instructional Pages is now ready for your viewing. These are in depth segments from the Canadian Waters School of Fly Fishing Manual. They pertain mostly to Lake Fly Fishing and the forage involved and deal mainly with the Prairie/ high prairie regions but the information is valuable anywhere. One segment is available each month and this months features Mayflies. There is no password required and no charges for viewing. This is for public information and education. Look off : http:\www.articfire.com/arcfire/fishing.htm Locate the Lake Fly Fishing Instructional Pages by Bob Sheedy, the author of the manual. Many other informative articles, software and fly patterns available as well.

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= Lake Fly Fishing Instructional HTML =

This URL is needs correcting: Look off : http:\www.articfire.com/arcfire/fishing.htm =

Try http://www.articfire.com/arcfire/fishing.htm Locate the Lake Fly Fishing Instructional Pages by Bob Sheedy, the author=

 of — = =9F Len =9F —– Leonard Campbell                                                                                                =

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Hi Dave, Here is the URL, which I just used.  = http://www.articfire.com/arcfire/fishing.htm  Go to =               Bob Sheedy’s               Stillwater Fly               Fishing               Instructional http://www.articfire.com/arcfire/mayfly.htm and enjoy the descriptions. Regards, — = =9F Len =9F —– Leonard Campbell                                                                                                = PO Box 972,                                                                                                                     = 168 Old Center Harbor Rd         = Center Harbor, NH 03226

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Question:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -can anyone give me some suggestions?  i’ve read quite a bit of e-mail posted here at this forum recommending how to do a lot of things.  you can’t begin to believe how much this has helped! so, i am looking for additional help in storing a quantity of feathers, necks, backs (terminology?) of pheasant feathers.  i received a LARGE quantitiy of these from a hunting friend who doesn’t fly fish.  i would like to store these for use in tying flies at a later time. (in the process of gathering info on first books to buy for tying, first vises, etc.).  SO, what would be a good way to store these?  how long would these last if stored properly?  in some cases, i have the complete (hide?)bird. how do i store these? any and all info or comments/replys would be greatly appreciated.  i’m learning and want to continue to learn!  happy thankgiving and tight lines! john  

suggestion for feather/skin storage: most important with skins is to make sure they a very clean. scrape all fat, meat.etc.from skin side. apply corase salt to skin fror at least a week then clean thoroughly. using something like a tupperware or rubbermaid container put skins or feathers flat and put either moth crystals or balls in container and seal tightly. skins and feathers will remain pristine for years this way. I have bought old collections of skins (over 80 years old) that were packed in cedar chips from museums. they would pack a entire bird in a celophane bag with the chips and seal. feathers last for years this way…and smell good. secret to keeping feathers/skins in tying condition is to make sure they are clean when stored; laid as flat as possible; kept as cool (40-60 degrees) as possible. We have some feathers that are over 100 years old that look like they were plucked last week. Stuffed birds should be wrapped ,demothed and sealed in the proper sized baggie or similar bag.                                         Best of luck,                                      phil castleman                                 Castle Arms/Fishermen’s Furs &Feathers

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        Put the feathers, furs, etc. in ziplok bags and store in the freezer. They will last indefinitely and will kill most pests if frozen for more than 30 days.

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i received a LARGE quantitiy of these from a hunting friend who doesn’t fly fish.  i would like to store these for use in tying flies at a later time…

Here’s my suggestion: Tell your friend thanks and suggest in some off-hand way, that if other game birds ever cross his sight plane that you’d be happy to take the feathers. Take what ever you think you might want and do the moth ball/ziplock bag/freezer trick.  If you’re really determined to keep whole sets, Feathercraft use to sell some sort of powder to cure the skin.  The product name and the company number escape me at the moment but it is a fairly easy project. Before you get carried away, remember that one pheasant goes a long, long way.  They feathers are very pretty but there’s only so many pt nymphs, philoplume patterns and crawfish you can tie.

Response:

can anyone give me some suggestions?  i’ve read quite a bit of e-mail posted here at this forum recommending how to do a lot of things.  you can’t begin to believe how much this has helped! so, i am looking for additional help in storing a quantity of feathers, necks, backs (terminology?) of pheasant feathers.  i received a LARGE quantitiy of these from a hunting friend who doesn’t fly fish.  i would like to store these for use in tying flies at a later time. (in the process of gathering info on first books to buy for tying, first vises, etc.).  SO, what would be a good way to store these?  how long would these last if stored properly?  in some cases, i have the complete (hide?)bird. how do i store these? any and all info or comments/replys would be greatly appreciated.  i’m learning and want to continue to learn!  happy thankgiving and tight lines! john  

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Question:

I have three upcoming trips this spring: New Orleans in March, Miami in May, and North Carolina in July. I am looking for suggestions for

I guess it is time for a Keys, Bonefish, and Miami FAQ.. Here are some posts others have found useful. Have fun, and mail me if you have further questions…  Alan Barrow  km4ba         | If a little knowledge….. As if Santa wasn’t good enough to me, I found out that I have business in Ft. Lauderdale in January. It looks like a two hour drive down to the end of the Florida peninsula according to my atlas, and I plan on scamming a couple of extra days to cast for bonefish.

I would allow a little extra time, it can take longer depending on traffic. The only way in or out of the keys is US-1, and it is mostly 2 lane for miles. (You can take card sound road for a nice alternate route coming back. About the same time, and you see a different part of N Key Largo.) I am a steelheader from Seattle who knows NOTHING< about bonefish except that my 8wt rpl will work, and the flies under the heading "bonefish" are small shrimpy weighted flies.

You ought to be ok, use as much of a WF line as you have. Make sure you have as much backing as your reel will hold. Nevertheless, the thought of ‘wading the flats’ wearing shorts in January is too much to resist for someone from latitude 47.

And you can do it, you just have to be a bit trickier during winter time. The bonefish are still there, they just will not come onto the flats until the water warms up. I would plan on fishing mid-day if the night time temp is below 70. The flats will be too cold in the AM, but will warm up. I am groveling for information! (fishing dates: Jan 14th – 16th)

Here are some posts I have made earlier. Not all will be relevant, but most info should be useful. I grew up down there, and spend 2-3 weeks a year flats fishing in the upper Keys. My brother works in Key Largo and Key West about half of the time, and he gets me current fishing reports. Both he and I have flats boats, and are into flyfishing for bonefish and tarpon. Have fun! Call me if you have questions… 404/850-2644  Alan Barrow  km4ba         | If a little knowledge….. Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.fishing Some friends and I, serious fly fisherman all, are thinking about going to the Florida Keys to do some bonefishing (and maybe tarpon, permit, etc.)  this winter.  Never having done this before, I have scads of questions: * Is end of December/beginning of January a good time?

Bones are there year round. They will not come up onto the flats if the water temp is too cold. Also wind is more likely, and impacts the number of "fishable" (sight fishing) days. However, the largest bonefish are usually caught in winter. I have hooked (not landed) very big bonefish during XMAS trips last year. Tarpon migrate, and are not in the Keys in large quantities until May/June. There are year round Tarpon spots in the Keys ( and Miami) but it is usually deep water. (Bridges/channels, etc) I consider June/July the best time all around for fishing in the Keys. I still fish year all seasons, because even "off season" the fishing is better than most places I know. But for fly fisherman, winter may be less desirable. Redfish are available year round, as are sharks and barracudas. Many fly types are sight fishing for big ‘Cudas during winter when it the flats are too cold for bonefish. * Where are the good spots in the keys?  Should we try Grand Bahama or  Belize instead?

My conclusion is that if you want numbers and lot’s of action, hit the bahamas, Christmas Island (near Hawaii), or costa rica. However, If you want big fish on a regular basis, Miami down to Marathon for bonefish is hard to beat. For Tarpon, Boca Grande pass in June is fantastic. Not the same as sight fishing the flats edges for tarpon in the Keys, but killer in a different fashion. Tarpon are all around florida mid year, so there are many good places for them. The keys are ideal due to: Big Bonefish, good tarpon, great Permit, OK redfish, great trout, great dolphin close in (the fish). The water is great for sight fishing in the Keys. Other parts of Fla are less "clear". The Bahamas are tough to beat in water clarity. * Know any good guides/outfitters?

I have not used a guide for 3 years, but recommend using one until you become proficient in finding fish yourself. Even then, guides will put you onto more fish. * Will I need my own equipment or can I rent?

I have not seen much rental equipment. If you have a guide, he will provide top notch equipment. I hope you have a good time! Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.fishing I will be on Islamorada from February 10-17 of this year.  I plan to do some inshore fishing, and am wondering if this is a particularly "hot" time for specific fish. Can anyone give me some help? I’ll be

Entirely dependant on water temperature. (Wind may also be an issue) Some of the largest bonefish are caught in "winter" (dec-feb). You may also go all day without seeing a fish on a flat. A guide is a big win here. They may know when/where fish may make an appearence. We have found that "normal" behavior does not apply. (normal for bonefish is: fish move on flat with low incoming tide.) Problem is that with colder water temp, at may be midday before the water warms up enough. Thus traditional early morning/late evening "best times" may not apply. Barracuda are found (and fished for) on the flats in the winter. Any other time, these guys are almost impossible to catch. (Except when a big bonefish is about to nail your shrimp/lure) Also sharks on the flats can be fun. Tarpon are pretty much somewhere else, except for a few "bridge" types that hang around year round. Redfish and trout in the backcountry (Fla Bay, as opposed to the Atlantic) should also be a good option. (Not as exciting as bonefish, but still pretty good) I believe offshore is pretty good this time of year. (Sailfish, grouper, Kings, snapper, etc) out for a full day, and would like to spend about half the day fishing purely for sport (i.e. tarpon, bonefish, maybe permit) and half the day fishing for something I can cook up afterwards. Is this possible?

Bonefish or permit then hit backcountry for redfish or trout. I have limited out on big trout within 30 min skiff ride from Islamorada. (By the way, you will be "in" Islamorada, the city. You will be "on" upper or lower matacumbe. Just a "nit" :- ) Any suggestions would be appreciated. I’d like to call up and reserve a guide ahead of time.

We had good luck with Jamie Brodie, who booked out of Holiday Isle. I could get other names from Fla Sportsman if needed. Secondly, since I can’t afford a guide every day I’m there, but would like to do some fishing most of the days I’m there, I’m wondering if anyone can give me advice about wading/shore fishing. I’ll cast for

This is how we got started. Harry Harris park up in key largo (20 min N of Islamorada) is a good flat to wade for bonefish. Also flats off the bridges at shell and indian key ( Just S of Islamorada. ) are good. If you see brown bottom that you can get too from your hotel, etc. I would give it a try. Wear tennis shoes, or booties. (I use "aquasox" as well) Be aware of stingrays. (Some say to shuffle. I do if I cannot see the bottom very clearly. I have found if the bottom is hard enough to wade, the stingrays do not bury themselves. They are also very spooky, and will avoid you.) Also bridge fishing all along that area is good. You can also rent a boat. (not cheap, but cheaper than a guide.) Plan on using it mainly to get too flats. Do not try to take it on the flats, as you will get stuck unless it is very high tide. You will not have a pole anyway. Even with our flat’s boats, we wade alot. (during low tide) anything, I just don’t know what’s there to cast to, or what to cast to whatever is there (to state a simple point in a fairly unruly way).

On the flats you will see:         stingrays- do not try to catch them. Look for bonefish/jack         following them. try to cast on the back of any stingray you see.         Many times you will not see the fish following them. Best sign         that bonefish are on the flats. Stingrays are your friend.         Bonefish- swim most in straight lines. best case is to find them         tailing in low water. (why wading is good). You may see one or a         dozen. Very spooky. Cast in front of them, let them swim up on         your lure/bait.         Permit- The most spooky. look for "sickle" fin sticking out of         water.         Baracuda- usually loitering around. Moving very slowly, then         disappears faster than your eye can follow. If you see a fish,         and it does not move 5-10 feet in a few seconds, then it is probably         a barracuda. cast past it 10 feet in front of it. reel as fast         as you can. They strike instinctively.         Jack- Usually you do not see them, but catch them by accident.         can get pretty big, fights almost as good as a bonefish. (Just         missing the 200 yd runs.)         Sharks- 2-5′ nurse, lemon,

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I have three upcoming trips this spring: New Orleans in March, Miami in May, and North Carolina in July. I am looking for suggestions for saltwater flyfishing in these places. If you can recommend guides or

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Question:

Ten Tips for Beginning Fly Fishers* x xBy Clay Riness x x1.  Don’t take yourself too seriously…it’s supposed to be fun. You don’t have to have the mind of Einstein and the hand-eye coordination of Stefan Edberg to enjoy fly fishing–as much of the contemporary literature seems to suggest. True, catching wary trout can be difficult. But learning to have fun with a flyrod is not difficult at all. x x2.  Seek a mentor. All kinds of fly fishing instruction is available: books, videos, schools, clinics, ad infinitum. Each has its place, but nothing compares to what you learn standing at the side of a veteran angler. The friendship you develop is very special, too. x x3.  Quit thinking of fly fishing solely in terms of trout. All fish are fun on a flyrod! Bass,bluegills, crappies, northern pike, even carp- go forth and figure out how to hook them. x x4. Choose your tackle wisely. Forget about buying an "entry level" rod, reel and line. You’ll blame yourself for its lack of performance, and it won’t have any resale value. Check around; try different rods; ask your mentor’s advice. x x5. Join fishing-related organizations and clubs.  You’ll meet people who share your interests, and who are willing to share their expertise as well. Plus, you’ll be contributing to the protection of the resource. x x6. Learn to cast on grass, not water. use your yard, or a local park (or even a gymnasium, if one’s available). This way, you can concentrate strictly on developing and improving your casting, without having to worry about anything else. The flyrod can be a tool of great precision; you’ll catch a zillion more fish in the long run by knowing how to use that tool before you face your quarry. Besides, if you can’t get your fly to the fish, you can’t fish. x x7. Take up a little basic  fly tying. Losing flies is much easier when it’s a ratty old thing you tied for eight cents, instead of a two dollar bit of fluff with an intimidating name. Catching fish on your home-tied creation is a lot more fun, too. And if you keep at it, you’ll eventually be able to tie fancy bits of fluff with intimidating names. x x8. Get free catalogues. You can learn all incredible amount about fly fishing by studying the wishbooks that cater to it. You’ll also get an idea of what’s out there in the way of tackle. x x9. Keep a notebook of your experiences. Keeping a journal affords you the luxury of reliving your adventures in your own words. You will also be able to process this information over the seasons, and learn from it. x x10.  Go Fishing! x xClay Riness is the proprietor of Rocking Trout Spring Creek Fishing Service in Coon Valley, Wisconsin. x x x*Story from the FFF Story File x x

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Ten Tips for Beginning Fly Fishers* x x6. Learn to cast on grass, not water. use your yard, or a local park (or even a gymnasium, if one’s available). This way, you can concentrate strictly on developing and improving your casting, without having to worry about anything else.

I agree to a point.  Picking up your line before the back cast is an important aspect and the feel of the line coming off the water is different than coming off of grass.   x x7. Take up a little basic  fly tying. Losing flies is much easier when it’s a ratty old thing you tied for eight cents, instead of a two dollar bit of fluff with an intimidating name. Catching fish on your home-tied creation is a lot more fun, too. And if you keep at it, you’ll eventually be able to tie fancy bits of fluff with intimidating names.

More importantly, I think fly tying makes you much more aware of the insects that you are trying to immitate and the various stages.  You’re not just fishing with a fancy bit of fluff with an intimidating name but a representation of a real insect. — John Fereira Pleasanton, CA

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