Question:

I am planning to buy a kayak for flyfishing small lakes and ponds……need information on stability, size and type.

Hi all, for small lakes and ponds you might want to consider a solo canoe. I own a Mohawk solo 14 and I’m very pleased with it. Here are some things to think about that might help. Mohawk has a nice kayak style two piece paddle that works very well with this canoe – it makes the canoe pure joy to paddle and after you get to where you are headed you can take it apart and have a normal canoe paddle for getting past tight spots. The solo canoe draws very little water (about 1 inch) and can glide over logs, sandbars and weeds – a big plus for Florida! It is surprising fast, I have a GPS and have found I can maintain about 4 MPH at a 1/2 hour pace and can sprint up to 5.5 MPH for a short bit – very helpful when trying to get past a bridge with a lot of current. It is very light – less then 40 LBs and is very easy to car top and portage. I often carry it over head without a yoke two blocks to the local lake with no problems. The canoe is completely open and has easy to access storage. On the down side, because it is open you have to be careful in larger lakes and flats – large boat wake and or heavy chop could swamp the canoe. A kayak would be much better for rough water. It is very tippy, forget about standing up! All casting must be done sitting down. I have found this is not too much of a problem and has helped made me improve my casting. Because the boat is so light and draws little water the wind really moves it around. This can be an advantage as some of the best days I have had were drifting the flats on a light wind. It is amazing what you can sneak up on when making no sound. When the wind picks up a light anchor tied to the transom with cheap (floating) rope will put your back to the wind and make for some great downwind casting. When you want to move simply paddle backwards a few strokes and the floating rope with come up on the side and you will be able to pull it in with out turning around or getting up out of the seat. I hope this helps, Dale — Dale Coleman

Response:

How about this?   http://www.tribalance.com/tribalance.htm Chris "Padishar Creel" Fanning

Response:

Or this: http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~rbear/yak.html Micro Poke Boat. I’ve built a pack frame to carry it in to wilderness lakes in the Cascades, Shown spin fishing, but also good for fly. Very stable. I’ve built a rod holder that sits between my knees, use a 9′ combo rod with the reel seat seven inches from the butt, very good for trolling streamers and nymphs, and the whole boat is my shooting basket. I also have a Wilderness Systems Critter, and have seen Pungos, Mallards, etc. used this way, but I like the Poke best because it weighs so much less and the high freeboard is good wind protection in rough weather. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How about this? http://www.tribalance.com/tribalance.htm Chris "Padishar Creel" Fanning

Response:

http://www.kayaker.com/products/boats/boat.asp?type=recreational&ID=30 john

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here’s a link to an article discussing kayak fishing with some good pointers… <http://www.stripersurf.com/kayaks101.html — so much fishing, so little time — –please remuv the ‘NOWAY2it’ from my email addy to email me–

Response:

I, too, have an Ocean Kayak Ambush.  They are considerably more stable than a canoe, even.  I have both.  The Ambush is big enough for two and has a removable second seat.  Lots of storage space.  It is big and heavy, but more maneuverable and speedy than a canoe.  It also has a trolling motor mount molded into the design.  I have used it as well.  With a 17 lbs. thrust motor, it really boogies across the creeks and lakes. Now for the spam.  I wanted one of these kayaks for years and could not find one.  Then one of my clients requested a few Ocean Kayaks for a promotion they were doing.  Once I started researching, I found out that one of the companies I rep is Johnson Outdoor, who owns Ocean Kayak.  Duh.  Okay, so I can sell you one straight from the factory and have it shipped anywhere in the continental U.S. If you are interested, let me know and I’ll put together a price.  We could even do it through ebay if you wish. Scott P.S.  That was not too "spammy" was it?

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ve paddled the Ambush by Ocean Kayak, and found it to be a very stable boat…I couldn’t flip this one if I wanted too.  It’s a heavy boat, though, and may be a bit much for one person to haul to and from the water.  I have no financial interest in Ocean Kayak, and having said that here’s a link to the Ambush.( http://www.oceankayak.com/products/ambush.html ) HTH. Cheers, Bill I am planning to buy a kayak for flyfishing small lakes and ponds……need information on stability, size and type.

Response:

just keep in mind the weight for both stability and ease of transport. A plus on stability and a negative on the latter. — so much fishing, so little time — –please remuv the ‘NOWAY2it’ from my email addy to email me–

Response:

I am planning to buy a kayak for flyfishing small lakes and ponds……need information on stability, size and type.

I have a couple of kayaks I fish out of. I mainly fish salt water flats but I have fished for striper in GA Lake Lanier. I read the mentions of the Ride. Good little yak but it is slow to paddle. Not sure which Ocean Kayak model you are looking at. There are several great paddle fishing sites on the web. Most are focused on salt water. However, tips on choosing a kayak are going to be the same with a few differences for lake fishing. If you are going to be flyfishing from a yak the absolute in stability is the Tribalance. It has outriggers and will NOT flip. You CAN fall out of it though. It also has advantages of being a sit it that you can sit ON as well. The cockpit then becomes a handy stripping basket. Also nice it you fish in colder climates to get out of the wind. I have a full review on my site http://flatsfisher.com and the same review and other information is available on the salt water oriented http://paddle-fishing.com The direct site for Tribalance is here http://www.tribalance.com/ I personally liked my Tri but could not keep up with some of the other boats and it needs the rudder in py opinion in the open water or it tracks funny at times. I replaced it with a Hobie Outback that uses a pedal system rather than paddling. It is stable enough to stand in but I would not think it ideal for all the motion involved in fly casting(at least the way I do it <g) You will have a price premium on the Tribalance as well; new close to $900 compared to a new Ride at about $600. good luck, atljoe

Response:

I am planning to buy a kayak for flyfishing small lakes and ponds……need information on stability, size and type.

Response:

I am planning to buy a kayak for flyfishing small lakes and ponds……need information on stability, size and type.

This one has been recommended to me: http://www.wildernesssystems.com/kayaks/boats/therideangler_a.html This is the only one i’ve seen where you able to stand up in…..well i’m sure you could stand in other models, but ya might get wet. ….hmmm, is there a term for a Full Reid in a kayak? brians

Response:

This one has been recommended to me: http://www.wildernesssystems.com/kayaks/boats/therideangler_a.html

I have two Rides (not the ‘angler’, I added the rod holders and anchor myself) and they are great for fishing. I don’t stand up in mine to fish, but have tried it and it can be done. — Charlie…

Response:

….hmmm, is there a term for a Full Reid in a kayak?

Absolutely.  That would be known  as the "Mason Flip," and there are several variations. Cheers, Bill (Mason) (Mostly upright, seldom dry)

Response:

I’ve paddled the Ambush by Ocean Kayak, and found it to be a very stable boat…I couldn’t flip this one if I wanted too.  It’s a heavy boat, though, and may be a bit much for one person to haul to and from the water.  I have no financial interest in Ocean Kayak, and having said that here’s a link to the Ambush.( http://www.oceankayak.com/products/ambush.html ) HTH. Cheers, Bill

I am planning to buy a kayak for flyfishing small lakes and ponds……need

information on stability, size and type.

Response:

I am planning to buy a kayak for flyfishing small lakes and ponds……need information on stability, size and type. If you are interested in a Sit Inside kayak take a look at the Pungo by Wilderness System. Nice and stable, a super comfy adjustable seat and a huge cockpit opening. Best thing would be to narrow down your list then go to a shop and test paddle the models that interest you. It’s just like buying a flyrod, test it locally then make your decision. One size doesnt fit all. good luck, Walter

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Question:

Hi, I haven’t received my flies yet Paul EARTHLINK SUCK

You were expecting the flies by e-mail?  I doubt it’s Earthlink’s problem. BTW – current plan is to be in NY Friday after all…  Fingers crossed and gear already in the car.

Response:

I haven’t received my flies yet

Mine parcel arrived today.  I spent quite some time going over all of the flies.  The flies already mentioned, as well as the rest, are indeed nice flies.  One in particular really jumped out at me.  The woven soft hackle Isonychia nymph tied by Glenn Tippy really caught my eye.  I guess I kind of have a fascination with woven bodied flies but have limited myself to larger patterns in the past.  I keep fly swap flies for examples in my own endeavors and I plan on replicating this one after the conclave when I have some time to get out and shop for the materials.  I am also thinking about some modifications for different species, etc.  Oustanding tie Glenn and thanks for the inspiration. — Warren Findley Remove (nospamZZ) to respond via email http://www.geocities.com/troutbum_mt/

Response:

Got home from vacation in NH today and found the package on top of the inevitable pile of junk mail.  Made taking the kayaks and canoe off the car, and all the other crap of unpacking, fly. Thanks to all. Glenn Tippy GKT

Response:

Joe, I also received my flies in great shape a couple of weeks ago.  Sorry for the long delay in letting you know.  I have been busy at work and in fishing so I have been away from the group for the last two weeks.  Thanks guys for the great ties!  I hope mine met with everyone’s expectations if not let me know and I will tie you a better one and send it off to you. Later Ed Bleck AKA Didymus

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jay Peck is a friend of mine, a non – roffian, and  I invited him to join the swap.  He is from the Rochester area, and works as a guide at a fly shop there.  You must be, too, as is evidenced by your "Caledonia scud", no doubt intended for Spring Creek. Peter Collin Got the package of flies yesterday.  Looked them all over and everybody did a great job!  I am going fishing next week for 4 days and will be using them.  I am definitely going to try out that "Mink Coat" where I know it should work. Great job everybody Rob Hey Joe- Flies received safe and sound.  Good job.  Kudos to the swapmeister, and the flies are great as well. Who is Jay Peck, by the way (tied a burnt wing mayfly)?  Is he from the Rochester area? Scott Aha!  It is the same Jay– a talented guy.  I know he’s a fine tyer, and pretty well represented in pattern books dedicated to the Northeast.  He works out of Coleman’s (of Tony Germuga fame )  He’s a very talented guide and salmon and steelhead fisherman.  I think Rick Kustich also uses some of his photographs in his books. Peter–where do you fish?  Lets get together sometime when you’re in the area.  You’re dead-on about my poor excuse for a scud.  I would have tied them better if I knew Jay was going to see it!!  My understanding is that it was designed to hide the lead for way back when Spring Creek was no-lead. Another historical fly from that era was the "Nickel Nymph", which was tied on a huge hook.  I think that pattern called for Condor!!  I would love to get my hands on one of those flies. Scott

Response:

How did you get those? Those were extra flies I tied for the swap meister. I put them in an envelope that said swap meister on the front.

I’m back at the hotel & have only had one beer so far, so here’s the simple explanation:   I had everybody tie 25 flies so they would get one of their own back in the fly swap set.   That way, I didn’t have to keep track of who’s set was who’s.   However, a few guys miscounted & only sent 24.   For those guys, I put their name on the plastic cup, & skipped them when sorting their respective sets of flies.  They didn’t get one of their own, but everybody else did.   Simple so far, eh?  (If anyone didn’t get one of their own flies in the swap, that’s why.) Well, yours (Dave) was one of the first sets I sorted, & because you labelled those two little envelopes, I mentally assigned the first two cups to Paul Goodwin (photos) & myself (swapmeister).   I put the correct envelopes into the correct cups.   Then I came across the first set of 24 (instead of 25) & forgetting what I’d done earlier, I must have taped Peter’s name on the second cup since he was the first "swapper-specific" set.   Later on, to my surprise, it turned out that I too had miscounted (only 24) & had to put my name on a cup to skip as well.   Unfortunately, it was not the same cup I’d put your "Swapmeister" envelope in. Told you it was a simple explanation.  :-) Joe F. DDFS alum.

Response:

Would you like them back?  I’d hate to cheat the swapmeister!  Or is this like the ball games, where you get to keep the ones that go into the stands? Pete

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, both were in the little manila envelope that said "swapmeister". But I didn’t know Joe was doing three patterns.  Maybe they were strays that somehow fell into the pile.  I’ll consider them a bonus. Oops.   I didn’t tie those (& from my hotel room here I can’t remember who did), but that swapper identified one envelope for the photos & one for me personally.   In my haste, I screwed up & sent that one to you (I remember how, but it’s too complicated before breakfast <g).  I pretty much packed the boxes, mailed ‘em, & headed out of town, so I wouldn’t have realized my mistake for a week or so.   If that’s my only screw up, I’ll be happy. Joe F. DDFSwapmeister (who figured out the internet connection in his hotel room)

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jay Peck is a friend of mine, a non – roffian, and  I invited him to join the swap.  He is from the Rochester area, and works as a guide at a fly shop there.  You must be, too, as is evidenced by your "Caledonia scud", no doubt intended for Spring Creek. Peter Collin Got the package of flies yesterday.  Looked them all over and everybody did a great job!  I am going fishing next week for 4 days and will be using them.  I am definitely going to try out that "Mink Coat" where I know it should work. Great job everybody Rob Hey Joe- Flies received safe and sound.  Good job.  Kudos to the swapmeister, and the flies are great as well. Who is Jay Peck, by the way (tied a burnt wing mayfly)?  Is he from the Rochester area? Scott

Aha!  It is the same Jay– a talented guy.  I know he’s a fine tyer, and pretty well represented in pattern books dedicated to the Northeast.  He works out of Coleman’s (of Tony Germuga fame )  He’s a very talented guide and salmon and steelhead fisherman.  I think Rick Kustich also uses some of his photographs in his books. Peter–where do you fish?  Lets get together sometime when you’re in the area.  You’re dead-on about my poor excuse for a scud.  I would have tied them better if I knew Jay was going to see it!!  My understanding is that it was designed to hide the lead for way back when Spring Creek was no-lead.   Another historical fly from that era was the "Nickel Nymph", which was tied on a huge hook.  I think that pattern called for Condor!!  I would love to get my hands on one of those flies. Scott

Response:

Jay Peck is a friend of mine, a non – roffian, and  I invited him to join the swap.  He is from the Rochester area, and works as a guide at a fly shop there.  You must be, too, as is evidenced by your "Caledonia scud", no doubt intended for Spring Creek. Peter Collin

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Got the package of flies yesterday.  Looked them all over and everybody did a great job!  I am going fishing next week for 4 days and will be using them.  I am definitely going to try out that "Mink Coat" where I know it should work. Great job everybody Rob Hey Joe- Flies received safe and sound.  Good job.  Kudos to the swapmeister, and the flies are great as well. Who is Jay Peck, by the way (tied a burnt wing mayfly)?  Is he from the Rochester area? Scott

Response:

Got the package of flies yesterday.  Looked them all over and everybody did a great job!  I am going fishing next week for 4 days and will be using them.  I am definitely going to try out that "Mink Coat" where I know it should work. Great job everybody Rob

Hey Joe- Flies received safe and sound.  Good job.  Kudos to the swapmeister, and the flies are great as well. Who is Jay Peck, by the way (tied a burnt wing mayfly)?  Is he from the Rochester area? Scott

Response:

How did you get those? Those were extra flies I tied for the swap meister. I put them in an envelope that said swap meister on the front. Any ways the red one is an electric leach and the streamer is called cutt bait. The streamer is actually a saltwater pattern I use for sea run cutts and salmon but I figure there are green back minnows anywhere in the world. Later Dave —

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There were two flies I go with no tag on them.  One was a red woolybuggery sort of  thing and the other was a chartreuse streamer.  Can anybody claim these? Peter Collin

Response:

Well, both were in the little manila envelope that said "swapmeister". But I didn’t know Joe was doing three patterns.  Maybe they were strays that somehow fell into the pile.  I’ll consider them a bonus.

Oops.   I didn’t tie those (& from my hotel room here I can’t remember who did), but that swapper identified one envelope for the photos & one for me personally.   In my haste, I screwed up & sent that one to you (I remember how, but it’s too complicated before breakfast <g).  I pretty much packed the boxes, mailed ‘em, & headed out of town, so I wouldn’t have realized my mistake for a week or so.   If that’s my only screw up, I’ll be happy. Joe F. DDFSwapmeister (who figured out the internet connection in his hotel room)

Response:

Well, both were in the little manila envelope that said "swapmeister".  But I didn’t know Joe was doing three patterns.  Maybe they were strays that somehow fell into the pile.  I’ll consider them a bonus. Peter Collin

Response:

Got the package of flies yesterday.  Looked them all over and everybody did a great job!  I am going fishing next week for 4 days and will be using them.  I am definitely going to try out that "Mink Coat" where I know it should work. Great job everybody Rob

Response:

I think my favorite was the Madame X.  It was tied very expertly, and is the kind of floating attractor that works well on my local streams. Peter Collin

Response:

!! Definitely an inspiration to improve upon my skills for the next swap to come. tight lines to all…… Thom Adams – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Got the package of flies yesterday.  Looked them all over and everybody did a great job!  I am going fishing next week for 4 days and will be using them.  I am definitely going to try out that "Mink Coat" where I know it should work. Great job everybody Rob

Response:

There were two flies I go with no tag on them.  One was a red woolybuggery sort of  thing and the other was a chartreuse streamer.  Can anybody claim these? Peter Collin

Response:

There were two flies I go with no tag on them.  One was a red woolybuggery sort of  thing and the other was a chartreuse streamer.  Can anybody claim these?

Hmmm, I don’t see those in my collection, so I’ll take a guess.  Since there’s no red anything in my box it might be mine.  Is it a pinkish orange foam body with a white comparadun style wing and a bushy brown tail?  If so, it’s my Orange Woof bluegill fly (some of them had green rubber legs, some didn’t).  The streamer might be Big Dale’s Foam Spider.  Does it have rubber legs?

Response:

I could be wrong, but I have some of Big D’s foam spiders and I don’t believe they would be considered streamers.  However, he could very well have tied a different type of foam spider pattern than I have, I guess? Op

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There were two flies I go with no tag on them.  One was a red woolybuggery sort of  thing and the other was a chartreuse streamer.  Can anybody claim these? Hmmm, I don’t see those in my collection, so I’ll take a guess.  Since there’s no red anything in my box it might be mine.  Is it a pinkish orange foam body with a white comparadun style wing and a bushy brown tail?  If so, it’s my Orange Woof bluegill fly (some of them had green rubber legs, some didn’t).  The streamer might be Big Dale’s Foam Spider.  Does it have rubber legs?

Response:

I could be wrong, but I have some of Big D’s foam spiders and I don’t believe they would be considered streamers.  However, he could very well have tied a different type of foam spider pattern than I have, I guess? Op

I wouldn’t call it a streamer but it has a marabou tail and is the right color.  Nothing else really looks like a streamer except for Joe’s Madame X (bullethead deer hair) and Wayne’s Mink Coat. I’m hoping we can get Paul Goodwin to do pics next week which will end all speculation.  It’s in your court Paul, the database is set up. –Stan

Response:

Hi, I haven’t received my flies yet Paul EARTHLINK SUCK

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I could be wrong, but I have some of Big D’s foam spiders and I don’t believe they would be considered streamers.  However, he could very well have tied a different type of foam spider pattern than I have, I guess? Op I wouldn’t call it a streamer but it has a marabou tail and is the right color.  Nothing else really looks like a streamer except for Joe’s Madame X (bullethead deer hair) and Wayne’s Mink Coat. I’m hoping we can get Paul Goodwin to do pics next week which will end all speculation.  It’s in your court Paul, the database is set up. –Stan

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Question:

Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

BWAH HAH HAH!!! Oh man, I gotta go, I think just wet myself!!! BWAHHHHH HAH HAHHH!!!! Oh Man, Oh GOD, here comes the floor!!!!! Rob — visit our web siite: http://www.randc.bizhosting.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

He is what he is! I will discuss a problem that anyone has with me but I will not put up with screaming idiots! — Jim Ferrill The Ellaville Bed Co. http://www.sowega.net/~jimkim/ rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Wow!  Everyone once in a while these HD/Lowes posts get pretty darn entertaining!  LOL Mike

Response:

David, May I introduce Matthew J. Prusik Jr.    He is whining on the post HD HORROR STORIES!!! about you. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Well, the very least you could have done was to offer the guy 50 bucks to get the eyesore out of the store for you. Then you could pushed bamboo wedges up under your finger nails by way of atonement. Then to show that you were really sincere, maybe have yourself drawn and quarter….. of course you might have found something painful to do to yourself in between. I think it’s shameful, the way you skinny little guys gotta keep on picking Enjoyed it immensely, David 8^). — Jim Warman http://www.telusplanet.net/public/mechanic – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about.

Response:

Now that you and the human-hemroid have each others names…  maybe you can get together and have tea or something. Nex time you stuck in tools and a freaker goes nuts on you…  defend yourseldf with a plunge-router…  will make for a better story…

Response:

Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor.  <snip snip

Better you than me, David.  I would have grabbed the closest tool and told him those were his nuts on the floor!  Oh well, glad you liked your visit from Sigh!  <g — Jim Mc Namara Future Collectibles www.futurecollectibles.com

Response:

Bet you like the paint department better now……got any deals???? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Nov. 5, 2000 The Home Depot 100 Borg Lane Anyplace, USA  12345 Dear Sirs: I would like to complain about the service I got while trying to purchase some paint at one of your stores today. I was patiently waiting in line to buy some paint.  Finally it was my turn, but just as I was ready to tell the gentleman what I needed, he was called away to work in the tool department.  A gentleman from the electrical department came to assist me.  He explained that when somebody goes to lunch, everybody just rotates into the next department to the left.  I didn’t think this made much sense but Home Depot seems to be a large company so they must know what they’re doing. At any rate, I asked him for 2 gallons of a pale pink for my daughters room. He then explained that he is from the electrical department and only deals in white, black and green.  I told him that I really wasn’t interested in any of those colors but wanted chip number 115 off of card P-2430.  He once again told me he would really like to help but as he was bound by law to only deal in white, black and green.  He excused himself to help a nice young lady who wanted some sky blue paint.  He explained that while he couldn’t sell her the blue, she had her choice of green,  which he said was very "earthy"; black, which he was neutral about; or white, which is the hot color this season. I grew disgusted with the whole situation when suddenly a huge ruckus erupted in the tool department.  I decided that enough was enough and started to leave the store.  I kept hearing a store employee tell some guy what an a-hole he was.  I looked at the two of them.  The employee was a slim guy with glasses in his mid thirties.  He had that swarthy look about him like he was from the Middle-East or Canada or one of those exotic locales you only read about.  The other guy was about 6′ 4 and the same slim build but he had a gut on him that would put any dedicated beer drinker to shame.  With the gut, he must have gone 300 lbs or better. Suddenly Mr. Gut turns around and storms out of the building.  I guess he didn’t see me because as he turned around to shout something back to the clerk, his gut hit me and knocked me into a display of Black and Decker power screwdrivers.  I hit the ground and all the screwdrivers fell on me. By the time I looked up, he was gone.  Just as I was getting to my feet, two of your other employees named Dino and Rocko knocked me back to the floor while giving chase to Mr. Gut.  Once again I was getting to my feet when Dino and Rocko came back in.  They were muttering about not catching the guy because he jumped into a stretch limo Ford F-350 (short bed).  They were impressed that the guy has so much money as to be able to afford one of those. I got out to my car, realized I left my keys and the paint counter and then had to go back in to get them.  The slim guy was back at the paint counter muttering something about the mean winter temperature in Alaska and generally shooting daggers at anybody who looked at him. Just then a voice came over the loud speaker that it was time for another lunch switch.  As I left, I heard the guy from Plumbing go to the Millwork department and try to explain to some poor guy that he didn’t know what a scarf joint was but if he wanted to join two pieces of baseboard, all he had to do was put male and female threads on the two ends and everything would be right as rain. In the future, I will be shopping at Builders Square or HomeQuarters.  There always seems to be a parking spot available… — Dolmen Productions http://members.home.net/dolmen.prod – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

LOL, Darn it you made me loose my soda all over my keyboard.  I guess you owe me a rebate on something or other Dear All,

Humor snipped – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and

Response:

Great Add-on. — Sincerely, Sy Kaplan Black Sheep Woodworks North Chittenden, Vermont http://www.blacksheepwoodworks.com

Response:

David, Do you have good health insurance up there in Canada?  :-)  Thanks for the belly laughs. — Sincerely, Sy Kaplan Black Sheep Woodworks North Chittenden, Vermont http://www.blacksheepwoodworks.com

Response:

Dear Steve, I was going to ask if that was you that Mr. Gut knocked down, I thought for sure I recognised the scarred hand from ABPF, but it was time to move to the left again, so I didn’t get a chance to chat. Mr. Gut is lucky this took place in New Jersey and not Texas. The HD employees down there are all issued Glock 9mm’s and part of the in-house training program involves close range marksmanship. Next time you are in a Texas HD, look for a bulge in the front of those fashionable back supports we are all issued. From re-reading the employee manuals addendum for Texican employees on rules of engagement and reasonable use of force, I would have been justified in winging him in the kneecap. Might have got me employee of the Month… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

Hahahahhhahahahhh ROTFLMAO!!

Response:

you guys are killin me  lol

Response:

David,   Thanks for this.  I am LMAO at 7:30 am on a Monday morning, in an otherwise quiet office.  I know people think I’m strange now.  I read, and posted to the other thread/rant.  I’m glad I took the time to read this one too. P. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear All, Here I am working at the tool corral cash register at Home Depot a few months ago, getting minimum wage filling in for a person on lunch. I normally work in the paint department, paint is what I know about. There is this guy rushing around like a bull in a china shop with his arms overloaded with breakable objects, he comes up to the counter to ask a question about something on the floor. I suggest he unload his goods for everyone’s convenience. I told him would try to help him, but that this wasn’t my department and I was just filling in for someone on lunch. He was looking at some table thingie with what looked like a motor mounted underneath of it. He asked if we had any more, I checked the computer, it said we didn’t, but the computer isn’t always correct, so I checked the shelf as well. He seemed annoyed that this was the only one we had. I suggested he could buy the floor model, he pointed out that this unit had actual dust on it and it might have to be cleaned and wanted a discount. It didn’t have manuals either, but I told him we would take his name and make sure he was sent some, he didn’t want to hear that, he was just looking to chisel the price down. I called a manager and asked what the policy was on floor models, I was told we take a standard 10% off, which is basically selling the tool at cost. This guy was a little steamy already, but when I told him the discount would be 10%, he lost it, I truly thought he was about to go postal on me. With arms flailing, he knocks stuff off the counter and is muttering something about how he is single handily responsible for the success of Home Depot with the millions in business he has brought to the chain and goes on and on about how he will never be shopping here again. I am trying not to shake my head while this display is going on, and I carelessly utter under my breath, "what an asshole". Little did I know, this guy has his Whisper 2000 cranked to maximum amplification. Big mistake. Now I am almost 6 foot, but my build is what I politely call slight, I am only 150 pounds soaking wet. This ape is 6′5"+ and twice my weight, he leans over the counter right in my face and spraying as he yells, he dares me to repeat what I just said. I am pushing the emergency security button as hard and as fast I can thinking I have about 3 seconds to live before this guy squishes me like a bug. I of course don’t repeat what I said, I cannot believe he even heard it in the first place. Before Dino and Rocko get to the Coral, this guy has stormed out and I am about to quit my job and go live in Alaska. I think this is what they mean by roid rage. A few weeks later, I am called into the carpet on this matter. Apparently this guy has been emailing everyone about this incident and is even trying to rally Ralph Nader to his aid. Ralph said he hates Home Depot, but this guy was to radical for even him. I explain the incident, including the ‘asshole’ remark. I could see the store manager was not to upset with me and he said he might have said worse to the guy, PR be dammed, some people we just don’t need in the store. The store manager also said that the head office has his letters framed and get a chuckle out of them every time they read them. Nothing bad came of it, except that I hear he is still writing congress trying to get a bill passed that when things don’t go your way, you get 10% back on all previous purchases. Don’t worry, I don’t get it either. Oh well, back to the paint department… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

–         PHoeve …Those that can, do. …The rest just talk about it. Before you buy.

Response:

David, David, David,  those "bulges in the front sides of the men’s back notice a lot of out of stater’s looking at the men’s back supports.  What’s up with that ?  LOL – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Steve, I was going to ask if that was you that Mr. Gut knocked down, I thought for sure I recognised the scarred hand from ABPF, but it was time to move to the left again, so I didn’t get a chance to chat. Mr. Gut is lucky this took place in New Jersey and not Texas. The HD employees down there are all issued Glock 9mm’s and part of the in-house training program involves close range marksmanship. Next time you are in a Texas HD, look for a bulge in the front of those fashionable back supports we are all issued. From re-reading the employee manuals addendum for Texican employees on rules of engagement and reasonable use of force, I would have been justified in winging him in the kneecap. Might have got me employee of the Month… Thanks, David. May you live in Interesting Times – Ancient Chinese Curse. Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ. rec.ww FAQ http://www.robson.org/woodfaq/ Archives http://x29.deja.com/home_ps.shtml crowbar FAQ http://www.concentric.net/~Odeen/oldtools/crowbar.shtml

Response:

This is the most fun to hit this group in a long time. Now the kicker will be it was all a troll and he will have a big Gotcha! Well I’m hoping…… John

Response:

Ahhh, you don’t understand at all the new world of political correctness… -Doug – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have always maintained that you should never get in trouble for speaking the truth.  Just my opinion!

Response:

I have always maintained that you should never get in trouble for speaking the truth.  Just my opinion!

Response:

Dear Home Depot Customers:   I would like to take this opportunity to tell you what happens to those employees who are flushed out of the HD system.   We become deckhands in Alaska.  Some of us are more fortunate than others, in that we get jobs on commercials boats and therefore are not compelled to deal with clients.   Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.   Well, luckily for me we’d just taken off from port.  So at the time he was attempting to clamber up the fly ladder after me, he was a victim of too much booze and five foot waves.  I happily sat out the rest of my voyage to see with my walkman and the Eurythmics.   Now, at the time, Alaska fishing laws limited charter boats to two fish per person. The big guy (he kept bragging about some sort of Ford truck limo thing he owned–said he’s bought a wax replica of John Rocker to put on permanent display in it), drank all day and basically threw up the entire time.  He didn’t fish.  Or cut bait. Basically, he slept.  I cut bait.   We’d had a bad day on the water, and were heading back into port in Homer, AK. Mr. Big Guy gets up and suddenly wants to fish.  I, being 19 at the time, was in no position to stop him.  I wasn’t yet ornery enough to challenge men much larger and meaner than me to physical fights.  So, I baited up his hook for him and he took to fishing.   It’s really amazing how quickly one can be lost to the wonders of the sea, especially what with those big boat propellers whirring and spinning about.  Me being a simple girl, how would I know?   I just thought we’d gotten caught up in a nest of sea otters.  I don’t care how cute they look clapping their little hands, they’re pesky creatures to be sure…  It was a tragic accident, to be sure.  However, the rest of our passengers were very pleasantly surprised when they discovered all those "fancy filets" waiting for them at the fishing dock.   So, I hope this will encourage all HD customers to treat your future charter boat deckhands with some respect, as we are quite good with the gaff hook and the filet knife, and are willing to accommodate you in any way we see fit. We look forward to your next visit to Alaska!   Sincerely, Meredith PS:  Of course this is a satire, but I really was a deck hand in Alaska.  Talk about a cool place… "Suppose you were an idiot.  Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."  Mark Twain

Response:

Don’t think of working EMS.  First they cuss you for arriving late, then they puke on you before they pass out and force you to dead lift their 300-lb carcasses out of the vehicle or up/down the narrow stairs.  That’s where the EMS corollary to Murphy’s come into play – "the bigger the patient the smaller your partner." Do I have to tell you how big my partner was they day I responded to a 460lb man ejected through (how, I’ll never know) the windscreen of a Toyota mini-pickup?

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.

Response:

That’s nothing. I got a paper cut on my finger at work one day last year. Null.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Don’t think of working EMS.  First they cuss you for arriving late, then they puke on you before they pass out and force you to dead lift their 300-lb carcasses out of the vehicle or up/down the narrow stairs.  That’s where the EMS corollary to Murphy’s come into play – "the bigger the patient the smaller your partner." Do I have to tell you how big my partner was they day I responded to a 460lb man ejected through (how, I’ll never know) the windscreen of a Toyota mini-pickup? Myself?  None such luck.  I ended up working as a deckhand on a 34′ charter boat called the ‘Irish Mist.’  I was called the "master baiter."  I had to bait their hooks and gaff their fish.  Also, I had to take care of them when they were sick…"Sir…lean over the boat…yes, that’s it…ALL THE WAY over the boat, sir…."   I had to scrub herring scales off the boat daily…and damn, they’d make a good wood glue if someone could come up with a formula…. One day, we had a rather large fellow, probably six-four and about 300 pounds plus.  He was drunk and belligerent when he arrived, and this was at 7am. Well, I knew my work was cut out for me.   He got in my face and demanded to know what time the "all ya can eat for 10% off barbeque starts." I tried to explain to him that we had no such offer.  I tried and tried.  He complained that the boat was dusty and missing parts.  I muttered, "what an asshole," as I climbed up to the flybridge.

Response:

That’s nothing. I got a paper cut on my finger at work one day last year. Null.

ROTFLMAO!

Response:

Question:

Joe, so far I only count 6 confirmed heads unless you are not coming alone.  This includes my wife and myself.

I’m bringing one fishin’ buddy and maybe one brother-in-law.   No spouse. I’m planning on hitting the campsite around 0700 Sunday morning.  I would guess we will start splashing the river about 0800 or 0830.  This is just to keep ahead of locals who might drift in.

0700.   That’s like 7:00 in the morning.   Lemesee, I have to pick up my buddy & drive 2.5 hrs., so I can sleep until about – 3 a.m.   No problem. (snicker) I really gotta get down there Saturday night. Joe F.

Response:

news.ops.worldnet.att.net, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wayne, Have you been keeping a head count/list of those currently planning to attend? Also, what say we pick a rendezvous hour for Sun. a.m.   What’s a good time? Joe F. (typing when I need to get busy tying) Joe, so far I only count 6 confirmed heads unless you are not coming alone.  This includes my wife and myself. I’m planning on hitting the campsite around 0700 Sunday morning.  I would guess we will start splashing the river about 0800 or 0830. This is just to keep ahead of locals who might drift in.  We will be in no hurry so we can be flexible with the time for being "On-Water". Expect some canoe launching to be going on in the morning and canoe arrivals after noon..  If you get down Saturday evening bring a headlamp and explore the river. The Miller hatch actually occurs at night.  Wild thing to behold!!  I’ll e-mail the confirmed attendees with specific fishing instructions whic I don’t want broadcast here.  You guys are gonna LOVE this! Maybe we should bring our own blank T-Shirts and do our own drawings!! We can take pictures, get them deeloped at Wal-Mart down the road and have them put on our shirts! — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine!  I’ll be there Sunday for sure, possibly Saturday if work allows.

Hope the river will be fishable with all these storms we’re having. Drove by the Potomac this AM. High and full of mud. Praying for no more rain just for the next 10 days. Bob Before you buy.

Response:

 I’ll be there Sunday for sure, possibly Saturday if work allows. Hope the river will be fishable with all these storms we’re having. Drove by the Potomac this AM. High and full of mud. Praying for no more rain just for the next 10 days. Bob

Glad to have you Bob.  The storms have been running across the Northern Highlands and the Rappahannock is nearly IDEAL right now with no significant rain forecast.  River is clear and excellent wading and canoeing/kayaking levels.  Water temp is in the 70’s and well oxygenated!! Keep in mind also that we are fishing just above the confluence with the Rapidan.  The Rapidan is the bad actor for dumping mud. — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

I’m bringing one fishin’ buddy and maybe one brother-in-law.   No spouse. I really gotta get down there Saturday night. Joe F.

Do we need tar and feathers for the brother-in-law or is he supplying the beer?  The little country store in Richardsville sells tar-&- feather kits for problem in-laws! <G — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

 I’ll be there Sunday for sure, possibly Saturday if work allows. Hope the river will be fishable with all these storms we’re having. Drove by the Potomac this AM. High and full of mud. Praying for no more rain just for the next 10 days. Bob

For a good example of how Northern Virginia has been getting hammered while we dodge the big bullets check out: http://water.usgs.gov/cgi-bin/daily_flow?va — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

Do we need tar and feathers for the brother-in-law or is he supplying the beer?  The little country store in Richardsville sells tar-&- feather kits for problem in-laws! <G

LOL.   No, he’s one of the good ones, aside from not being a fly fisherman; but this may be an opportunity to work on that (if I don’t overexpose him to this bunch). Revisiting flies:   Many of the patterns I’m tying at the recommendation of our local shop owner (a good smallie fisherman himself) are somewhat larger (size 4) than the 6’s & 8’s you’ve recommended.   Not likely to be a big deal, I assume? Time permitting, I’ll tie a bunch in the smaller sizes as well. I’m tying all bottom bouncers: a bunch of Crystal Buggers, Crystal Crayfish (easy & pretty cool looking, but no match for the "fighting craw"), white Wooly Buggers, & assorted Clousers.   I thought about helgrammites, but decided to just buy a few instead.   I’m planning to tie enough to swap or give away a few at Clave Central in the morning, so if anybody else wants to do the same, I’d welcome the variety and maybe a couple surface flies for early a.m. Joe F.

Response:

LOL.   No, he’s one of the good ones, aside from not being a fly fisherman; but this may be an opportunity to work on that (if I don’t overexpose him to this bunch). Revisiting flies:   Many of the patterns I’m tying at the

recommendation of our – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – local shop owner (a good smallie fisherman himself) are somewhat larger (size 4) than the 6’s & 8’s you’ve recommended.   Not likely to be a big deal, I assume? Time permitting, I’ll tie a bunch in the smaller sizes as well. I’m tying all bottom bouncers: a bunch of Crystal Buggers, Crystal Crayfish (easy & pretty cool looking, but no match for the "fighting craw"), white Wooly Buggers, & assorted Clousers.   I thought about helgrammites, but decided to just buy a few instead.   I’m planning to tie enough to swap or give away a few at Clave Central in the morning, so if anybody else wants to do the same, I’d welcome the variety and maybe a couple surface flies for early a.m. Joe F.

Joe, for total number of fish the #6 works well.  For fewer fish but the LUNKERS, go with the larger flys.  Make some in black and weighted.  The current BIG FISH flys are large and black fished slow on the bottom.  Leech patterns, hellgrammites, and Clousers in sizes 2 to 4  are getting the larger fish.  Keep in mind, this river does not fish crawfish quite as well as more northern rivers. They are certainly players here but not as important. BTW, I’m slipping out after work today to a SUPER SECRET spot to catch some 8 to 40 lb. Carp on a #12 Cracked Corn fly.  Right here on Lake Anna.  Film at 11. — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

I’ll be there Friday evening.  Frank Sr. did mention he may be bringing some one else.                         Frank Reid Before you buy.

Response:

Nope, twern’t me Frank Jr.  I be coming alone (as usual) unless you count my portable gas grill as company.  And I will be there sometime Friday. Frank (he who travels alone travels fastest) Church

|I’ll be there Friday evening.  Frank Sr. did mention he may be bringing |some one else. |                        Frank Reid | | |Before you buy.

Response:

Sorry Frank    I must have been talking about the other Frank, no, he’s in the SW. It might have been the other Frank, no, he’s driving down by himself too.  No, wait, thats me.  Where am I?  Who am I?         I’m schizophrenic and so am I.            Frank Reid Before you buy.

Response:

Working in that cubicle does a number on your mind, eh Frank?  :-)) Frank Church of all the things I’ve lost in my life, I regret losing my mind the most

|Sorry Frank |   I must have been talking about the other Frank, no, he’s in the SW. |It might have been the other Frank, no, he’s driving down by himself |too.  No, wait, thats me.  Where am I?  Who am I? |        I’m schizophrenic and so am I. |           Frank Reid | | | |Before you buy.

Response:

I gotta go FISHING!  Just did my 3rd 12 hour day this week, not including my little 1 1/2 each-way commute on the wonderful DC beltway.  Aaarrrrggghhh!!!!  This country boy needs no-see- ums, ’skeeters, ‘coons in the cooler, a couple of cold beers, and some good fishin’ buddies.  We ain’t in Omaha anymore Toto.  Its time to head to Virginia.  Will see you all there.        Frank "get me ‘da hell outta this city" Reid Before you buy.

Response:

My reservations are confirmed at the campgrounds… I’m bringing two kayaks, suitable for fishing, with wave skirts – and class three rapids are the max but a lot of fun. Will two be enough?….any takers out there?…. Wayne, I could probably get some t-shirts and hats from one of the local…er….gentlemen’s clubs….we could magic marker ROFF above

the, John, check out these two links.  Both have maps of the river.  The lower one shows the rapids.  There is an excellent stretch from Kelly’s Ford down to the campground and you can get the campground to transport you. http://www.crrl.org/community/for/pages/brochure1.htm http://members.aol.com/clorebros/index.html After running this river, we may have trouble booting you out of Virginia!! — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

Wayne, Have you been keeping a head count/list of those currently planning to attend? Also, what say we pick a rendezvous hour for Sun. a.m.   What’s a good time? Joe F. (typing when I need to get busy tying)

Joe, so far I only count 6 confirmed heads unless you are not coming alone.  This includes my wife and myself. I’m planning on hitting the campsite around 0700 Sunday morning.  I would guess we will start splashing the river about 0800 or 0830.  This is just to keep ahead of locals who might drift in.  We will be in no hurry so we can be flexible with the time for being "On-Water".  Expect some canoe launching to be going on in the morning and canoe arrivals after noon..  If you get down Saturday evening bring a headlamp and explore the river. The Miller hatch actually occurs at night.  Wild thing to behold!!  I’ll e-mail the confirmed attendees with specific fishing instructions whic I don’t want broadcast here.  You guys are gonna LOVE this! Maybe we should bring our own blank T-Shirts and do our own drawings!! We can take pictures, get them deeloped at Wal-Mart down the road and have them put on our shirts! — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

TIME IS GROWING SHORT!! If you love smallie fishing or would like to try it out on one of the premier small mouth rivers in the US, this Fly Fishing Conclave may be just the place to be.  There won’t be any hats, no T-shirts, and no drawings which are some of the fun earmarks of other ROFF Claves. There will be just a fine group of fly fishermen gathering in a quiet, relaxing setting on a beautiful river.  In fact, this will be one great place to get away and just RELAX!!  No events, no plans, just great fishing.  Bring a hammock and "hang out" in the shade of the trees riverside! The campground is primative (no hookups or dump station) and no radios permitted, wear your earphones if you just gotta have noise.  Drive Rt. 3 west from I-95, turn right on Rt. 610, turn right on Rt. 619, look for the red on white hand painted signs for Rappahannock River Campground. Prepare to wade wet, bring a wading staff, say "Hi" to Katy when you check in.  Day parking/fishing is $3.00 for the car and $1.00 a head or something to that effect.  Camping is cheap.  Clave Central is a picnic table next to the canoe launching ramp down by the river.  Some campers arriving as early as Friday Aug. 18, main event kicks off Sunday Morning August 20. Just got a call from home and Frank’s flys got here.  COME ON DOWN and we’ll try those suckers out!! — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

There won’t be any hats, no T-shirts, and no drawings which are some of the fun earmarks of other ROFF Claves. There will be just a fine group of fly fishermen gathering in a quiet, relaxing setting on a beautiful river.

Wayne, Have you been keeping a head count/list of those currently planning to attend? Also, what say we pick a rendezvous hour for Sun. a.m.   What’s a good time? Joe F. (typing when I need to get busy tying)

Response:

My reservations are confirmed at the campgrounds… Replaced the  fuel filter, front rotors, front calipers, front brakes, greased , changed oil and filter……did I forget anything?… I’m bringing two kayaks, suitable for fishing, with wave skirts – and class three rapids are the max but a lot of fun. Will two be enough?….any takers out there?…. Still have room in my van for a travel buddy, I leave out of Dayton Wayne, I could probably get some t-shirts and hats from one of the local…er….gentlemen’s clubs….we could magic marker ROFF above the, (they have special shirts for the ladies…teehee) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – TIME IS GROWING SHORT!! If you love smallie fishing or would like to try it out on one of the premier small mouth rivers in the US, this Fly Fishing Conclave may be just the place to be.  There won’t be any hats, no T-shirts, and no drawings which are some of the fun earmarks of other ROFF Claves. There will be just a fine group of fly fishermen gathering in a quiet, relaxing setting on a beautiful river.  In fact, this will be one great place to get away and just RELAX!!  No events, no plans, just great fishing.  Bring a hammock and "hang out" in the shade of the trees riverside! The campground is primative (no hookups or dump station) and no radios permitted, wear your earphones if you just gotta have noise.  Drive Rt. 3 west from I-95, turn right on Rt. 610, turn right on Rt. 619, look for the red on white hand painted signs for Rappahannock River Campground. Prepare to wade wet, bring a wading staff, say "Hi" to Katy when you check in.  Day parking/fishing is $3.00 for the car and $1.00 a head or something to that effect.  Camping is cheap.  Clave Central is a picnic table next to the canoe launching ramp down by the river.  Some campers arriving as early as Friday Aug. 18, main event kicks off Sunday Morning August 20. Just got a call from home and Frank’s flys got here.  COME ON DOWN and we’ll try those suckers out!! — Wayne To fish is human….To release Divine! Before you buy.

Response:

Question:

But seriously, someone once told me that Greg LeMonde was accidentally shot while he was fly fishing.  This true? I believe he was hunting birds with his brother.

He was turkey hunting. JM

Response:

Well done Mike!  I don’t know bout Uncle Sam teaching him to shoot Indians at three hundred yards, but I wonder who taught him to shoot himself so comprehensively in the foot!!  Gillaroo

Response:

[snip] I can hear an occasional rustling in the brush.  Maybe hear a bird or was it a bat flying by.

Or maybe it was a 30/06 whizzing by… /daytripper (maybe I should paint my vest blaze orange?)

Response:

An archived article by Old Rupe indicates that he often fishes in Michigan.  And it got me thinking… There are those days.  I’ve made it to the stream somehow in spite of my work schedule. It’s before daybreak and I am shivering on the tailgate of my truck.  I can hear an occasional rustling in the brush.  Maybe hear a bird or was it a bat flying by.  What is very obvious is the sound of the river and the anticipation of excitement.  A bit of starlight or moonlight provides just enough to see the outline of the trees.  These are the moments when the imagination sometimes runs wild and suddenly, I begin wondering about those sightings of the Michigan sasquatch.  Oh s**t, what was that?  Did I just see an anthropoidal form emerge from the shadowed thicket?  Or is it Old Rupe at three hundred yards trying to get a good look at my face? Mu in Michigan

Response:

Maybe hear a bird or was it a bat flying by. Or maybe it was a 30/06 whizzing by… /daytripper (maybe I should paint my vest blaze orange?)

Oh, Mr. T, you menfolks is always talking about your guns and what size it is   d;-) But seriously, someone once told me that Greg LeMonde was accidentally shot while he was fly fishing.  This true? Mu

Response:

But seriously, someone once told me that Greg LeMonde was accidentally shot while he was fly fishing.  This true?

I believe he was hunting birds with his brother. — visit my web site: http://home.earthlink.net/~royalwulff/ something bogus to avoid spam)

Response:

Question:

Tara: I am also a fly tyer. What sort of info are you looking for? I believe we have an unfair advantage against the non-stitching tyers — we have so much more in the way of dexterity. Females’ fingers are also so much smaller than males’, so the small hooks and feathers are easier for us to manipulate. We also have experience in handling fibers, in coordinating colors, and combining textures. I’ve been tying for about 15 years now; been stitching for about 25. JulieAnn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi all, I’m curious if any stitchers know anything about fly tying?  I’ve been interested in this for years, and lo and behold, my SO is an avid fisherman. I am also lurking in the rec.outdoors.fishing.fly.tying, but it seems so male dominated, and you are all so friendly. Plus if any of you have tried it, you could give me the heads up in terms I understand. TIA Tara

Opinions expressed herein are my own and may not represent those of my employer.

Response:

Tara: I’ve tried fly tying, and it was fun, but I never took it up as a hobby. I’m sure SO is thrilled when you express interest in fly tying. My SO’s fisherman roommates were deeply impressed to find out that I had tried fly tying, but they were even more impressed when I told them that one of my female friends from high school had taken it up as a hobby at the behest of her fisherman husband. I saw one of the guys giving his fianc

Question:

How and where should you put a strike indicator. thanks

J.P., your request will probably cause lots of debate as a lot of flyfisherman do not consider the use of a strike indicator to be sporting.  These types look at the end of their fly line for any indication of a strike.  They are in effect using their fly lines as strike indicators. Most authorities estimate that the majority of strikes are missed if strike indicators are not used.  I usually place my strike indicator about 2-3 times the water depth up from the fly.  I also prefer the ball type and peg it with a toothpick.  There are all types of indicators on the market that will twist onto the leader.  This is not bobber fishing as the fly is not suspended directly below the strike indicator.  You merely watch the indicator and strike when it moves "funny".  It takes experience.  Hope this helps.

Response:

How and where should you put a strike indicator. thanks

Somewhere between the tip of your fly line and your fly. Where exactly is dependent on e.g. on the depth you are fishing. The indicator should be at least 2-3 times the water depth you are fishing. Under conditions where fish are extremely spoky even more, often directly in front of the fly line, in fast water closer to the fly will show you more strikes. Hope that helps                  Thomas — JP Dorris Hunting and Fishing it’s all so relaxing

– Thomas Urbig

Response:

How and where should you put a strike indicator. thanks — JP Dorris Hunting and Fishing it’s all so relaxing

Fred may be right, in a way.  But, the norm is to put it one and one half times a far above the fly as the water you’re fishing is deep.  In other words, six feet up the leader if the water is four feet deep. Tight Lines, Charley

Response:

How and where should you put a strike indicator. thanks — JP Dorris Hunting and Fishing it’s all so relaxing

Response:

How and where should you put a strike indicator. thanks — JP Dorris Hunting and Fishing it’s all so relaxing

Back on the shelf at Walmart with the rest of the red and white bobbers.   Sorry, couldn’t resist the take. Best, Fred Rickson

Response:

How and where should you put a strike indicator. thanks — JP Dorris Hunting and Fishing it’s all so relaxing

JP, I used to pride myself on being able to sense when a trout had picked up my nymph and never used one…. as age set in and reflexes slowed, and eyesight dimmed, I use a very small piece of yarn or other about 4 to 8 feet above the nymph on the leader, especially in medium to slow water. Don’t use one in fast water as it drowns and also is not needed, as the strike is evident without it. Tightlines, Alan E. Hoover Anglers’ Rest Powhatan, Va        *the trout teach many, lessons*

Response:

How and where should you put a strike indicator. thanks — JP Dorris Hunting and Fishing it’s all so relaxing

The genral rule is twice the depth of the palce you are fishing.  A tip for you is to drive past the fly shop and go to a non-FFinf shop and pick up some pickerel (walleye) floats aka little corkies, worm floats etc for pennies a piece and then get some tooth picks .  Cut the tooth picks short and peg the indicator where you want it on your line by running the line through the center etc… Ian

Response:

Question:

Over the summer; I found numerous bottles of a floatant, named Gink, along the streams I fish. Do you think people are just losing these, and should purchase those cute little bottle holders… or is this stuff, so bad..people are just throwing it away?  How bad can this stuff be, to cause normal people to turn into common criminals and LITTER!! What if beavers found this stuff and ate it, would it kill them? What if T-Bone found this stuff floating in his Homebrew, would it kill him? How come this stuff is clear? Shouldn’t in come in the Borger Color system colors?  No, that would be 106 bottles..that would be stupid! Any info would be helpful… and No, Rick, I’m not a blonde…..just too much Homemade potato vodka before steelheading….. Hugs & Kisses, …..N….;)

Response:

: I apologize for my ignorance.  What is Albolene? : : Al Beatty mentioned this stuff recently too, including the name : of a drug store cosmetic that he uses for a floatant.   : : Breaker breaker Al, could you give us the name again? : : Thanks…Ross Well if Al doesn’t show up, and I’ll bet he will, I state that he put me on to Albolene (spelling off the jar) several months ago. I went right over to Long’s drugstore and bought some for under $5. It really works! Keep em dry, Bob — lukn4fish Bob Madden San Jose, Ca

Response:

: An odorless, sort-of waxy, facial cream used to float flies. Probably : gonna be tough to find now that the Gink boycott is on. In response to the international Gink boycott and in part because I’ve learned about Albolene, I am now presenting to roff subscribers (for a limited time only) a new product I call Fink-roff.  It does a great job floating flies (or so I’ve been told) and can double as a hand cleanser in a pinch. Please excuse this commercial post, while I sit back and let those profits roll in! — Rick T. Rick Fletcher   –   http://www.chem.uidaho.edu/~fletcher/ Associate professor of chemistry  |  That’s Idaho, not Iowa.    | ad hominem University of Idaho               |  Upper Left Hand Corner.    | ad hominem Moscow, ID 83844-2343             |  No, I don’t grow potatoes. | ad hominem

Response:

I apologize for my ignorance.  What is Albolene?

Al Beatty mentioned this stuff recently too, including the name of a drug store cosmetic that he uses for a floatant.   Breaker breaker Al, could you give us the name again? Thanks…Ross

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – : An odorless, sort-of waxy, facial cream used to float flies. Probably : gonna be tough to find now that the Gink boycott is on. In response to the international Gink boycott and in part because I’ve learned about Albolene, I am now presenting to roff subscribers (for a limited time only) a new product I call Fink-roff.  It does a great job floating flies (or so I’ve been told) and can double as a hand cleanser in a pinch. Please excuse this commercial post, while I sit back and let those profits roll in! — Rick T. Rick Fletcher   –   http://www.chem.uidaho.edu/~fletcher/ Associate professor of chemistry  |  That’s Idaho, not Iowa.    | ad hominem University of Idaho               |  Upper Left Hand Corner.    | ad hominem Moscow, ID 83844-2343             |  No, I don’t grow potatoes. | ad hominem

So, Rick.  When the profits start piling up, do you suppose you’ll be able to float me a loan? John

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In response to the international Gink boycott….

Gink boycott?????

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In response to the international Gink boycott…. Gink boycott?????

The Gink Boycott will NEVER float ! TimW

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. . .Isn’t Gink just Albolene put into tiny jars with the decimal point on the price tag moved one notch to the right?    I guess this would be like telling the Africans that the Coke bottle that fell out of the sky was simply a device built to hold a soda.    Sorry Nancy, T-Bone and George – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Over the summer; I found numerous bottles of a floatant, named Gink, along the streams I fish. Do you think people are just losing these, and should purchase those cute little bottle holders… or is this stuff, so bad..people are just throwing it away? I’m responsible for a whole bunch of these.  I hate to wear a life jacket.  Rather, I just rub Gink all over me before I go fishing.  It works swell and when you fall in, you float like a cork.  Saves me from carrying a rain jacket, too. Isn’t this the same stuff that all those English Channel swimmers used to grease up with?   How about a trip out to Montauk, Tim?  You gink up and we’ll do a little trollin’, eh chiefy? I always seem to lose the cap off the gink jar when it’s about half full and I can’t squeeze any more out and have to resort to scooping it out with a pine needle.   Ross

– Ralph & Lisa Cutter, California School of Flyfishing. http://www.flyline.com

Response:

: . . .Isn’t Gink just Albolene put into tiny jars with the decimal point on : the price tag moved one notch to the right? I apologize for my ignorance.  What is Albolene? — Rick T. Rick Fletcher   –   http://www.chem.uidaho.edu/~fletcher/ Associate professor of chemistry  |  That’s Idaho, not Iowa.    | ad hominem University of Idaho               |  Upper Left Hand Corner.    | ad hominem Moscow, ID 83844-2343             |  No, I don’t grow potatoes. | ad hominem

Response:

: . . .Isn’t Gink just Albolene put into tiny jars with the decimal point on : the price tag moved one notch to the right? I apologize for my ignorance.  What is Albolene? — Rick

Rick, Albolene (sp?) cream is nothing more than a waterless hand cleaner that you can pick up at most drug stores!  The reason many people use it is because it is chusk full of silicone.  It does have a tendency; however, to produce that nasty little "oil ring" on the water for the first few casts.  And because it comes in a jar, you have to put it in something to carry in your vest.  Most people I knew use a film canister.  This is fine, until this product heats up, builds pressure in the canister, and pops the top off!  Everyone I know that uses this stuff (me included) has a nice big stain on their vest (T-Bone would be proud!) from this stuff melting out!  It is very inexpensive, and one jar could last you a lifetime. -Mike

Response:

What is Albolene?

About $10 a jar for 5 lifetime supplies. Want some? An odorless, sort-of waxy, facial cream used to float flies. Probably gonna be tough to find now that the Gink boycott is on. John Nesselrode Shawnee, KS

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I’ve found that a well tied dry fly will float after making two or three false casts, so in most cases we can forget the floatant. Who needs that silicone mess and exploding Gink bottles?

Response:

: I always seem to lose the cap off the gink jar when it’s about half full : and I can’t squeeze any more out and have to resort to scooping it out : with a pine needle.   That is because the stuff is cold. It flows freely in warm weather. I just put it in a pocket where it can be warmed by body heat. Jon Porter

That’s for sure. I was out on the last weekend for trout here (boo-hoo) and it was sorta cold. I couldn’t get the Gink to flow so I unscrewed the top and tried to get the mass to come up to the mouth of the bottle to dab off a little with my finger. Well, it wouldn’t move so I squeezed harder. When it moved the entire remaining half bottle fired off (nearly took off my head). There was an eerie stillness, as if the very wind had stopped, as the Gink slug described a perfect parabolic arc against the autumn sky and shimmering aspen leaf background. Landed about 20 feet away. Fortunately I was in a float tube and made the retrieve. Gink shot, corner pocket. Jon

Response:

: I always seem to lose the cap off the gink jar when it’s about half full : and I can’t squeeze any more out and have to resort to scooping it out : with a pine needle.   That is because the stuff is cold. It flows freely in warm weather. I just put it in a pocket where it can be warmed by body heat. Jon Porter

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: Isn’t this the same stuff that all those English Channel swimmers used : to grease up with?   How about a trip out to Montauk, Tim?  You gink : up and we’ll do a little trollin’, eh chiefy? Speaking of which: Did anyone else notice Richard Dreyfus smearing that little boat they were on with a slimy, colorless liquid?  He alone used over three thousand bottles… And Nancy, I’m hoping you are a redhead.  Or bald. — Rick T. Rick Fletcher   –   http://www.chem.uidaho.edu/~fletcher/ Associate professor of chemistry  |  That’s Idaho, not Iowa.    | ad hominem University of Idaho               |  Upper Left Hand Corner.    | ad hominem Moscow, ID 83844-2343             |  No, I don’t grow potatoes. | ad hominem

Response:

Over the summer; I found numerous bottles of a floatant, named Gink, along the streams I fish. Do you think people are just losing these, and should purchase those cute little bottle holders… or is this stuff, so bad..people are just throwing it away?

Nancy, I share your concerns. I’m responsible for a whole bunch of these.  I hate to wear a life jacket.  Rather, I just rub Gink all over me before I go fishing.  It works swell and when you fall in, you float like a cork.  Saves me from carrying a rain jacket, too. You should know also, that guides all over have recognized the deodorant qualities of George’s fine product and use it before going to dinner after an all day July float.  The buzz phrase around here is: "Use Gink, Don’t Stink" . I’ve even used the stuff as a marital lubricant. It enhances the experience (and can actually save your life) when used in conjunction with a leaky waterbed. Keep your tips up, TimW How bad can this stuff be, to cause normal people to turn into common criminals and LITTER!!

The problem is you *can’t* throw the stuff away properly, it keeps floating to the top of the trash can and falls out.  This has prompted Senate Bill #2469 – Gink Disposal Budget for the Next Millenium What if the beavers found this stuff and ate it, would it kill them?

No, but Wally would use it as palm oil. What if T-Bone found this stuff floating in his Homebrew, would it kill him?

I have actually brewed a delightful "Marzen Ginken Weisen" adding it to the mash just before sparging. I have not tried smoking it. How come this stuff is clear? Shouldn’t in come in the Borger Color system colors?  No, that would be 106 bottles..that would be stupid!

Not really, Gary is now marketing a series of Gink Color Dyes, the "GCD-BCS". Any info would be helpful…

Any info ? helpful ? in this newsgroup ? C’mon ! and No, Rick, I’m not a blonde…..

You COULD be a blonde Nancy, just apply gink three times a day… just too much Homemade potato vodka

Impossible.   You’re still posting aren’t you ? 8*) before steelheading…..

How many of those ErieHeads did you land anyway ? TimW

Response:

Over the summer; I found numerous bottles of a floatant, named Gink, along the streams I fish. Do you think people are just losing these, and should purchase those cute little bottle holders… or is this stuff, so bad..people are just throwing it away? I’m responsible for a whole bunch of these.  I hate to wear a life jacket.  Rather, I just rub Gink all over me before I go fishing.  It works swell and when you fall in, you float like a cork.  Saves me from carrying a rain jacket, too.

Isn’t this the same stuff that all those English Channel swimmers used to grease up with?   How about a trip out to Montauk, Tim?  You gink up and we’ll do a little trollin’, eh chiefy? I always seem to lose the cap off the gink jar when it’s about half full and I can’t squeeze any more out and have to resort to scooping it out with a pine needle.   Ross

Response:

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – : : a good definition of the term bifluorescence : I’m not an entomologist, but I do make my living observing : fluorescence.  I : don’t believe I’ve ever heard the term… is it specific to insects? : I would be interested in knowing about fish perception … : Are trout more sensitive to UV, vis or IR radiation? : What exactly, do fish "see?" : As one might guess based on the fact that Rick hasn’t heard of this, it is : indeed a highly obscure term.  I ran it by a few of my colleagues who use : fluorescent tags in their work and some others who work on vision. : Several of : us could loosely be referred to as entomologists.  None were familiar : with it, : although we did manage to dig up a few recent references that use the : adjective : bifluorescent, in each case referring to things (not insects or any other : kind : of fish food) that fluoresce at two different wavelengths.  This may not be : very satisfying, but it does make sense. Could be, but everything fluoresces at multiple wavelengths except the very expensive lasers or the much less expensive diode lasers.  I thinbk you refer to organism or compounds that fluoresce with two discernible *peak* intensities.  In any case, another thread indicates the original poster meant "biofluorescence".  But lets ignore that for now and talk about the rest of your post. : Of perhaps more significance is the skepticism with which the vision types : greeted the possibility that fluorescence could be significant with : regard to : surface feeding.  There’s so much ambient light that fluorescence would : not be : likely to be important.  In contrast, at depths where light becomes more : monochromatic, fluorescence could indeed become significant. Excellent point, and rephrased, it is simialr to the fact that stars in the sky cannot be seen at night even though they are there.  Only when ambient light levels drop at night can the stars be seen against the background.  A fish looking up at the sky will see high amounts of ambient UV. I know that water begins to absorb light strongly near 200 nanometers. The UV is usually defined as wavelengths shorter than 400 nanometers or so.  This leaves a window from approximately 220 nm – 400 nm of UV open for transmission through water. : As for what fish see, there was a decent article in Fly Fisherman (?) a few : years back on how trout see.  As I recall, it dealt mostly with the : windows of : visibility and visual acuity, but there was also some stuff about color : vision. :  I don’t have the info on spectral sensitivity for trout specifically, : but many : fish are known to be sensitive to UV. Specifics are always good. : As an aside, for what it’s worth, I’ve never paid much attention to the : information on trout spectral sensitivities.  While I know that there are : many : who swear by exacting attention to colors, it’s been my experience that color : isn’t all that important.  I’m not quite ready for the "Adams for everything" : approach (although I know it works well for some, at least), but light, : medium : and dark has usually worked just fine. I would say that specific colors, like green or orange, will work well on specific days.  BTW, I would guess that most of the synthetic materials fluoresce in around 250 nm. :  My experience, which may not be : typical, has likely been colored by my propensity for fishing small : dries, but : I had a little chuckle when a colleague who works on vision suggested : that most : likely all the fish usually see is a silhouette. Especially the ones down deep.  Scattering would be a real hindrance to correct color perception for fish that are deep.  (Except of course on Idaho streams, where the water is so clear one must get out of the rivers to pee in their waders.) : Bummer, Rick.  Maybe it would look better under UV. Bring out the black lights… it’s time to party! — Rick T. Rick Fletcher   –   http://www.chem.uidaho.edu/~fletcher/ Associate professor of chemistry  |  That’s Idaho, not Iowa.    | ad hominem University of Idaho               |  Upper Left Hand Corner.    | ad hominem Moscow, ID 83844-2343             |  No, I don’t grow potatoes. | ad hominem

Who said that?

Response:

: : a good definition of the term bifluorescence : I’m not an entomologist, but I do make my living observing : fluorescence.  I : don’t believe I’ve ever heard the term… is it specific to insects? : I would be interested in knowing about fish perception … : Are trout more sensitive to UV, vis or IR radiation? : What exactly, do fish "see?" : As one might guess based on the fact that Rick hasn’t heard of this, it is : indeed a highly obscure term.  I ran it by a few of my colleagues who use : fluorescent tags in their work and some others who work on vision.   : Several of : us could loosely be referred to as entomologists.  None were familiar : with it, : although we did manage to dig up a few recent references that use the : adjective : bifluorescent, in each case referring to things (not insects or any other : kind : of fish food) that fluoresce at two different wavelengths.  This may not be : very satisfying, but it does make sense. Could be, but everything fluoresces at multiple wavelengths except the very expensive lasers or the much less expensive diode lasers.  I thinbk you refer to organism or compounds that fluoresce with two discernible *peak* intensities.  In any case, another thread indicates the original poster meant "biofluorescence".  But lets ignore that for now and talk about the rest of your post.   : Of perhaps more significance is the skepticism with which the vision types : greeted the possibility that fluorescence could be significant with : regard to : surface feeding.  There’s so much ambient light that fluorescence would : not be : likely to be important.  In contrast, at depths where light becomes more : monochromatic, fluorescence could indeed become significant. Excellent point, and rephrased, it is simialr to the fact that stars in the sky cannot be seen at night even though they are there.  Only when ambient light levels drop at night can the stars be seen against the background.  A fish looking up at the sky will see high amounts of ambient UV. I know that water begins to absorb light strongly near 200 nanometers. The UV is usually defined as wavelengths shorter than 400 nanometers or so.  This leaves a window from approximately 220 nm – 400 nm of UV open for transmission through water. : As for what fish see, there was a decent article in Fly Fisherman (?) a few : years back on how trout see.  As I recall, it dealt mostly with the : windows of : visibility and visual acuity, but there was also some stuff about color : vision. :  I don’t have the info on spectral sensitivity for trout specifically, : but many : fish are known to be sensitive to UV. Specifics are always good. : As an aside, for what it’s worth, I’ve never paid much attention to the : information on trout spectral sensitivities.  While I know that there are : many : who swear by exacting attention to colors, it’s been my experience that color : isn’t all that important.  I’m not quite ready for the "Adams for everything" : approach (although I know it works well for some, at least), but light, : medium : and dark has usually worked just fine.   I would say that specific colors, like green or orange, will work well on specific days.  BTW, I would guess that most of the synthetic materials fluoresce in around 250 nm. :  My experience, which may not be : typical, has likely been colored by my propensity for fishing small : dries, but : I had a little chuckle when a colleague who works on vision suggested : that most : likely all the fish usually see is a silhouette. Especially the ones down deep.  Scattering would be a real hindrance to correct color perception for fish that are deep.  (Except of course on Idaho streams, where the water is so clear one must get out of the rivers to pee in their waders.) : Bummer, Rick.  Maybe it would look better under UV. Bring out the black lights… it’s time to party! — Rick T. Rick Fletcher   –   http://www.chem.uidaho.edu/~fletcher/ Associate professor of chemistry  |  That’s Idaho, not Iowa.    | ad hominem University of Idaho               |  Upper Left Hand Corner.    | ad hominem Moscow, ID 83844-2343             |  No, I don’t grow potatoes. | ad hominem

Response:

: a good definition of the term bifluorescence I’m not an entomologist, but I do make my living observing fluorescence.  I

don’t believe I’ve ever heard the term… is it specific to insects? I would be interested in knowing about fish perception … Are trout more sensitive to UV, vis or IR radiation? What exactly, do fish "see?"

As one might guess based on the fact that Rick hasn’t heard of this, it is indeed a highly obscure term.  I ran it by a few of my colleagues who use fluorescent tags in their work and some others who work on vision.   Several of us could loosely be referred to as entomologists.  None were familiar with it, although we did manage to dig up a few recent references that use the adjective bifluorescent, in each case referring to things (not insects or any other kind of fish food) that fluoresce at two different wavelengths.  This may not be very satisfying, but it does make sense. Of perhaps more significance is the skepticism with which the vision types greeted the possibility that fluorescence could be significant with regard to surface feeding.  There’s so much ambient light that fluorescence would not be likely to be important.  In contrast, at depths where light becomes more monochromatic, fluorescence could indeed become significant. As for what fish see, there was a decent article in Fly Fisherman (?) a few years back on how trout see.  As I recall, it dealt mostly with the windows of visibility and visual acuity, but there was also some stuff about color vision.  I don’t have the info on spectral sensitivity for trout specifically, but many fish are known to be sensitive to UV. As an aside, for what it’s worth, I’ve never paid much attention to the information on trout spectral sensitivities.  While I know that there are many who swear by exacting attention to colors, it’s been my experience that color isn’t all that important.  I’m not quite ready for the "Adams for everything" approach (although I know it works well for some, at least), but light, medium and dark has usually worked just fine.  My experience, which may not be typical, has likely been colored by my propensity for fishing small dries, but I had a little chuckle when a colleague who works on vision suggested that most likely all the fish usually see is a silhouette. I just painted my living room and it turned out pink!!

Bummer, Rick.  Maybe it would look better under UV. Bill S.

Response:

Question:

I’ll be in Montana the first full week of August.  How is the Madison around Ennis Lake fishing?  What should I tie?

Response:

I’ll be in Montana the first full week of August.  How is the Madison around Ennis Lake fishing?  What should I tie?

Hi Davis Family The Madison has been fishing great!  Hoppers (#8) and caddis (EHC #12 – #20 light and dark) are the name of the game and will continue on into August.  Besure to have plenty Bead Head Nymphs, Serendipities (spelling?), attractors (Humpies & Wulffs #12 – #18),etc. Have a good trip. Tight Lines Al Beatty BT’s Fly Fishing Products Bozeman, MT (96 catalog)

Response: